Focus on mental health has Linn-Mar swimmer Hayley Kimmel back in the pool with renewed purpose

MARION — It wasn't any one particular incident that led to her decision.

However, one thing was clear to Linn-Mar's Hayley Kimmel — she needed to step away from competitive swimming and focus on her mental health.

Mental health for athletes has received national attention with the stories surrounding gymnast Simone Biles and tennis player Naomi Osaka. Both stepped away from their sports at the pinnacle of their careers to focus on their mental health.

Swimming is a demanding sport. For an elite athlete, that extends throughout the year with workouts and meets at various levels across the country and Kimmel was part of that routine growing up.

She entered Linn-Mar in fall 2019 as a national-level junior swimmer and placed second in two individual events at the state meet as a freshman. On the surface, it appeared she was on her way to becoming one of Iowa's best prep swimmers.

Below the surface, the stress was building.

“I don’t think people understood how many things I was going through at the time with school, all the pressure of wanting to win my freshman year and then ending up not winning. It took a toll on me,” Kimmel said. “I don’t think people understood that I felt as if I let everyone down, that I was a failure. I also felt that I was constantly drowning in work or swimming. It was mentally and physically hard to keep going.”

Kimmel stepped away from swimming for the first time in December of 2019, just before COVID-19 basically shut down the sport until the fall of 2020. As a sophomore, she missed a good part of the season due to illness, but came back to place in the top seven in two individual events at the state meet.

The tipping point for Kimmel to take a second break came following the state meet last November.

“I made the decision (to step away) after high school swimming my sophomore year,” she said. “I started to notice that I wasn’t enjoying it and I was just doing it for others and not myself. In my opinion, I wasn’t struggling with just one thing in general, it was a build-up of things that brought me to the (decision to step away).

“Many people would say it would be the best feeling in the world to be the best but, to be honest, it’s not. There is a lot of pressure and expectations that come with being the best. I mainly struggled with people focusing on the swimmer I used to be and not focusing on the swimmer I can and want to be.”

First-year Linn-Mar Coach Charlie Hugo was an assistant last season. He said Kimmel would “analyze” her races far in advance, which also could have been a trigger for increased stress.

“She starts to think about who she is competing against and how she can win the race,” Hugo said. “Hayley has talked to her coaches about some of these issues, and her coaches have talked to her as well. It was a combination of both Hayley and the coaches noticing a mental struggle while training and competing.”

Other issues that increased Kimmel's stress level included the extended illness of her grandpa, Jerry Kimmel, and trying to juggle school work and swimming as she entered high school.

“My grandpa was my absolute reason I kept going because he inspired me to keep going,” she said. “It was his biggest passion (to see me swim) and every time I would race I would think of him being in the stands and finally being able to see me swim. He is my hero.”

So for the first time in several years, she actually had an offseason this year. She continued to do lifting and conditioning, but said not getting into the water “lifted all the stress off my shoulders and made me a better swimmer and person for taking that time for myself.”

The self care included putting her thoughts into writing, confiding in her family (parents Chris and Diana, along with sisters Kaylyn and Alyssa), friends, and living the life of a 16-year-old girl.

“I do regret not talking to my family or my friends more,” Kimmel said. “I always thought breaking down or spewing my feelings was a sign of weakness or I couldn’t handle the stress. I had to come to terms with that and finally be OK saying I struggled so badly that I needed to let myself take a break.

“I actually got an experience of what it was like to not have to worry about being home early to get sleep for practice or having a whole summer day to do whatever I wanted. I actually enjoyed being able to do stuff with my friends or family because I didn’t have to worry about 8 to 10 practices a week.”

Kimmel returned to the water in May, swimming in two long-course meets in preparation for her junior year.

“Hayley has a wide range of skills in the pool and is a very competitive swimmer across the board,” Hugo said. “She has put in work over the summer months and is in great shape for the start of the season.”

Even with her break from action, Kimmel is being recruited by several college programs, which she said helped her to cope because it showed “that other people still had faith in my abilities.”

Kimmel appears to be at peace as a person and a swimmer as the Lions prepare for their opening dual on Aug. 31 at Iowa City High.

“I finally got to understand that I needed to swim for myself and only myself,” she said. “I don’t need to swim to have the crowd cheering or to have a gold medal around my neck. I don’t need to prove anything to anyone but me. I am glad I have finally recognized that.”

And Kimmel had this advice for anybody in her situation: “Always talk to someone even if you don’t want to. You don’t know how many people are there for you until you reach out to them.”