Supervisors refuse to provide proper adult supervision, again

What's up with the Linn County Board of Supervisors?

Today, the board shot down Sheriff Brian Gardner's proposal for an brand new law that would fine people who jump off perfectly good, sturdy bridges in the county. Teenagers have been jumping off bridges into the Cedar and Wapsipinicon rivers water this summer, driven by the siren's song of what they call "online video."

The proposal, which I call the Stop Jumping Off Bridges You Damn Reckless Kids Act, failed to draw even a motion for formal consideration. Someone better start explaining.

“I just see this as another ordinance in a long line of ordinances where we're trying to protect the weakest link in society,” said Supervisor Brent Oleson, R-Marion. “As long as they're not hurting others, I don't see the concern.”

How callous, and shortsighted. Today's weakest links are tomorrow's leaders -- members of Congress, presidents, Ames straw poll winners. There may even be future county supervisors diving off those bridges. 

This comes on the heels of the board's 3-2 vote last month rejecting a ban on the sale of dissolvable tobacco products in the county that look just like sweet, harmless candy to a reckless kids.

Sure, dissolvables are not yet for sale here, and when they are, it will be illegal for anyone under 18 to buy them. But a ban would have kept them far, far, far away, virtually unreachable, in an adjacent county.

So now, basically, we're going to have teenagers hopped up on dissolvable tobacco flinging themselves off bridges, for what they call "kicks." What good is government if it can't stop nicotine-addled youthful thrill-seeking? Not much good at all.

Word is that the supervisors have also told staff to cease work on several other critically needed ordinances, including those prohibiting going outside in the winter with a wet head, sticking your tongue on a frozen flag pole, running across an open field waving a 7-iron over your head during a thunderstorm, biking, no-hands, downhill, on gravel, texting while jaywalking, dropping Mentos into a big bottle of Diet Coke, planking, batmanning, horsemanning, messing with sasquatch, reading snarky satire that in any way cheapens the risk of dangerous behavior and/or the health dangers of tobacco for cheap laughs, and all general horseplay/nonsense. The It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Gets Hurt Act is also, sadly, on hold.

So I guess we can expect continued unbridled mayhem. Thanks, Board of Supervisors.