Summertime, and the living is uneasy

It just wouldn't be an official summer in Iowa without a few scourges. Onslaughts, banes, outbreaks, etc.

Without them, we in the media might get desperate. We might write about 2016 caucus polls.

Our old nemesis emerald ash borer has crawled a little closer, showing up in Burlington after making its first Iowa appearance way up in Allamakee County.

We've been expecting these bores for years. I first heard the words “emerald ash borer” at a news conference six or seven years ago. It sounded like a guy you meet at a wedding reception, wearing a green polyester jacket, smoking a cigar, explaining at length how you're underinsured. Instead, it's an almost unstoppable penny-sized pest that takes down ash trees.

If only Emerald Ash Borers could be wiped out by Japanese beetles, we'd have no worries.

At my house, the only natural enemy the beetles have is our dog, Scuttle, who plucks them from the leaves and crunches them to oblivion. He is, however, an inefficient killer. And my reluctance to marinate his snacks in Sevin likely is a net victory for the beetle hoards.

And if only those beetles would feast on garlic mustard, the highly invasive weed that the city of Cedar Rapids is now encouraging residents to banish from their YARDY carts. The city is worried that seeds might end up in the city's free compost, spreading it to yards and gardens.

Few noxious weeds have such an appealing name. Garlic mustard sounds like it might be great on brats, pork chops or maybe as a dip for fresh vegetables. If you're still brave enough to eat them.

Which brings us to the summer's scariest scourge so far, cylcospora, the parasitic affliction that's sickened more than 200 people in the Midwest, including dozens in Iowa and here in Linn County. Investigators believe the likely culprit is fresh vegetables.

Public health folks usually try in vain to get us to take health risks seriously. But when the warning involves severe diarrhea that lasts two months, you've got our undivided attention.

Luckily, we don't have to worry about sweet corn, which has an alibi, thanks to the crop delays caused by cold and wet conditions.

Cold and wet also are no longer an issue. Now, we're in the midst of what experts call a “flash drought,” or the sudden onset of dry conditions. That's a new one. It makes me think of funny home videos with people sitting in cheap swimming pools when the sides collapse.

Despite all this, please enjoy your summer. After all, a flash winter is looming.