Similar storms pile up

By Todd Dorman

Gov. Chet Culver was our storm Lug in chief this week.

One minute he was battling the budget storm, a $1 billion hole in next year's state budget, the biggest shortfall in memory. He outlined a series of government reorganization recommendations conjured up by a team of wise men from the north.

The next minute, he was dealing with the super storm, the worst snowstorm in years. Stay home, stay safe, the governor said. The emergency command center was on standby. The National Guard stood ready.

Considering all this while I tried to blow a foot of white frozen concrete from my driveway, it occurred to me that the super storm and budget storm have similarities. A few I came up with before my brain thawed:

Super Storm - Weather forecasters who hyped the “storm of the decade” were on the money.

Budget Storm - Revenue forecasters who under-hyped a bad economy were off by a mile.

Super Storm - White snow looks so Christmassy.

Budget Storm - Red ink looks so Christmassy.

Super Storm - Gassed-up snowblowers toss plumes of white into the frigid air.

Budget Storm - Cash-strapped state agencies turn down the heat and plumes of white breath rise from frigid bureaucrats.

Super Storm - The Iowa State Patrol urges Iowans to avoid using

impassable roads. Travel is a very bad idea.

Budget Storm - The governor urges lawmakers to pass a bill funding the Iowa State Patrol through the Road Use Tax Fund. Also a very bad idea.

Super Storm - Significant blowing and drifting.

Budget Storm - Significant blaming and dodging.

Super Storm - A city plow filled in my driveway. Is this what I get for my property taxes?

Budget Storm - Local government funding plowed into a huge state budget hole. Get ready to pay higher property taxes.

Super Storm - Wind chill numbers make it colder than you think.

Budget Storm - The governor's numbers make the shortfall look better than it is. Surrre.

Super Storm - Bored, whiny children home from school tax adults' mental state. Grab the Tylenol.

Budget Storm - Allowing direct shipment of wine to adults would bring in $375,000 in state taxes. Grab a corkscrew.

Super Storm - Add layers of clothing to avoid hypothermia.

Budget Storm - Remove layers of bureaucracy to avoid insolvency.

Super Storm - Hearty Iowans will dig themselves out.

Budget Storm - Our leaders had better dig themselves out.

n Comments: (319) 398-8452; todd.dorman@gazcomm.com