RSVP gets complex for GOP

Some Republicans seeking to lead the free world have been asked in recent days whether they would attend a same-sex wedding.

This has caused consternation in certain circles. There's been criticism of the question itself. It's unfair, irrelevant, some say.

Yeah, imagine the gall of asking people who want to ban same-sex marriages, or allow states to ban them, and turn back the clock on civil rights for their fellow Americans whether they would bring culture war scorn to bear on friends, family etc.

How dare we inquire.

'The media tries to twist the question of marriage … into a battle of emotions and personalities,” said U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas.

Exactly. Cruz is right. It's much easier to yank rights away from citizens and deny them equal protection before the law when you don't think of them as people or feel any emotions. This is strictly a cold constitutional calculation. It's all about activist judges, not actual families. Let's just keep this nice and impersonal.

Rick Santorum says he wouldn't go to a same-sex wedding. Marco Rubio says 'If it's somebody in my life that I love and care for, of course I would.” Scott Walker once went to a reception, but not the ceremony. Rick Perry 'probably would” go, but hates 'gotcha” questions.

Gotcha or not, it does raise practical issues.

If you're a same-sex couple planning a wedding, and are hoping to invite one or more Republican presidential aspirants to share your day of love, and why wouldn't you, the RSVP return card may get complicated. Here's a helpful template I've prepared.

1. Will attend

2. Regrets

3. Will attend, but as a staunch supporter of traditional marriage only, I must subject you to my stern look of silent disapproval.

4. Regrets, but no regrets about my strong opposition to same-sex marriage, grounded in my abiding Christian faith that love conquers all. Just not your love.

5. Will attend, but I am in no way endorsing what I see as stark evidence of our nation's rapidly declining moral values. Also, congratulations you two!

6. Regrets for the ceremony itself, but will attend the reception, unless a deeply religious baker is forced by court order to provide the cake. In that case, regrets.

7. Hold on a few days. We're still polling this.

8. Wouldn't miss it for the world. But I'd still like to make your marriage totally illegal.

9. How dare you ask this sort of liberal gotcha question.

They may show up. But if your gift registry includes 'support for our legal right to get hitched,” they're not buying.

For the rest of us, it's getting less complicated. A Washington Post poll finds 61 percent support for same-sex marriage, an all-time high. The U.S. Supreme Court hears arguments on the issue today and appears poised to deliver a historic civil rights victory.

That's good news. But Republican hopefuls shackled to their socially conservative base can't celebrate it. They don't dare fail the litmus test.

Sure, they can go to the ceremony. Throw rice. They can even eat the cake. But they just can't share the joy.

l Comments: (319) 398-8452; todd.dorman@thegazette.com