Happy back-burner birthday to me

So 52 years ago today I was born at Hancock Memorial Hospital in Britt, Iowa. The No. 1 song on the Billboard chart that week was “Make it with You,” by Bread, displacing The Carpenters’ “(They Long to Be) Close to You.”

“On the day that you were born the angels got together and decided to create a dream come true.

“So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold and starlight in your eyes of blue,” sang The Carpenters, but, clearly, not about me.

For one thing, my eyes are brown.

This is a back-burner birthday in the Dorman household.

My younger daughter has cross country practice first thing in the morning, followed by marching band camp and then show choir camp. My older daughter is moving back to college Friday to begin her new university apartment lifestyle. Thursdays are my busiest day of the week, when all of the weekend Insight pages are due. Then it’s on to Pints and Politics. Hope to see you there.

Also, turning 52 is hardly a milestone. It’s a mile marker on a bland stretch of interstate.

So imagine my surprise as I was poking around the internet and found a post by “life-change self-help author” Linda Deir entitled “Age 52, a Critical Year of Your Life.”

Please, Linda, tell me more.

“Almost everything in your life will change at 52 years old. It’s a time when many people feel alone and lost. The children are grown and gone. Possibly the partner or spouse is also gone. It’s a time when many find themselves alone in a big house with a desire to start over and don’t know how to go about it.”

I’ve still got one kid in the house, but she is a senior. My wife hasn’t skedaddled just yet. And if you can find a spot in my home where I can be alone, let me know.

“You are way past your prime for getting hired.”

Tell me less, Linda.

“This is the time in people’s lives when they ask, “Why am I really here? What is my purpose?”

That’s a lot, Linda. I was just hoping for some cake, not an existential crisis.

To gain some perspective, I looked through some old newspapers online and also came to the conclusion that nothing of much significance occurred on my date of birth. On Aug. 19, The New York Times led with a congressional override of President Richard Nixon’s veto of a school funding bill. The Gazette led with the Senate defeat of the Safeguard missile defense system.

But The Gazette’s opinion page seemed oddly familiar.

Under the headline “Press Not Intimidated,” The Gazette waved off concerns expressed by Sen. George McGovern. “The deliberate effort of the Nixon-Agnew administration to harass and intimidate the press is a serious threat to our free society,” McGovern said.

And yet, I still grew up to be an enemy of the people. A nattering nabob of negativism, no less.

The Gazette also carried an editorial with this lead: “The Cedar Rapids City Council is in the process of passing a new ordinance, at the request of police and school officials to beef up the authority of police to deal with certain specified offenses at schools.”

I keep getting older but the issues stay the same age.

Well, let’s hope this lonely, unemployable scribe will figure out why he’s here by 53.

(319) 398-8262; todd.dorman@thegazette.com