Golf Joke

As fellow Gazette bloganista Dave Rasdal points out, Cedar Rapids' municipal golf courses open on Monday. It's welcome news.

Some of the best rounds I've played in my life came the first day I walked on the course at the beginning of the season. That's when my game is pure, unencumbered by all the tinkering I'm apt to do the rest of the year.

But enough about me. Here's one among the world's six million golf jokes. Maybe you haven't heard it, so you'll have a new joke in your bag to go with that $300 driver you can't hit worth a damn.

A gentleman golfing by himself one day hits a hole in one. As he's pulling the flag and retrieving his ball, a genie appears in a puff of smoke rising from the cup.

"For your incredible shot, I will grant you three wishes," the genie said.

"But, there's a catch," the genie quickly added. "Anything you wish for, your wife will receive 100 times over."

"Oh, well...OK," the golfer said, after thinking for a few moments. "First, I'd like to have a billion dollars."

"Done," said the genie. "But your wife will have $100 billion."

"Fair enough," the golfer said. "Second, I'd like to be the world's best golfer"

"Done," said the genie. "But you will never beat your wife's scores."

"No worries," said the golfer.

"Last, I'd like to have a mild heart attack."

Sorry, but my sense of humor is a little dark. And ladies, feel free to substitute husband for wife. It's just as funny.