Come and vacation on Iowa’s surplus money mountain!

Well, it’s that time of year again. Time to load up the family truckster and head to Des Moines to see the state’s budget surplus.

Maybe you didn’t know it, but each summer the Department of Revenue opens its vaults deep underground where it keeps the state surplus and the Taxpayer Relief Fund. Through several layers of bulletproof glass, you can see billions of dollars piled high into a majestic money mountain.

It’s truly a breathtaking sight. No one who gazes upon it will ever forget it. And every year, the surplus gets bigger and bigger. To cover more and more tax cuts.

Sure, maybe you used to take the family to one of Iowa’s state parks. Maybe rent a cabin, do some camping, hike through nature, see if the fish are biting. But let’s face it, state parks are so 2010. They’re going to hell in a handbasket, neglected and declining into disrepair.

Maybe you’re thinking, “Why don’t we use some of that big surplus to properly staff and fix up the state parks?” You clearly do not understand conservative budgeting and fiscal responsibility. We cannot afford your radical socialism.

Making big tax cuts the state’s highest priority means making tough decisions.

For example, as The Gazette’s Erin Jordan recently reported, you’ve got to kick biologists and other staff out of state fish hatcheries. They’ve been informed they need to vacate housing at the fisheries by 2029. The homes will be destroyed or sold, but only if the buyer can move them.

So, what if there’s a flood or a power outage at the fisheries that could kill state-owned fish. What if thieves come in the night? Have no fear because no employees are here.

This is called streamlining, reorganization, and right-sizing. Gov. Kim Reynolds loves improving government even if it makes it less functional. Neat trick.

The Department of Natural Resources already kicked park rangers out of housing inside the parks they patrolled. The state did not want to spend $1 million to fix up the homes.

Then the department announced there would no longer be rangers stationed in parks. Many will become “conservation officers,” with law enforcement duties covering one or more counties rather than a single park. The state says officers living 20 miles away with duties covering a much broader geographic area will have no effect on park safety.

Stop complaining. Just call 911.

State parks, according to a former DNR employee, need $100 million in repairs to an array of facilities and amenities. Republicans who control the Golden Dome of Wisdom, now redder than a tick bite, provided $6 million. It’s all they can afford.

Water flowing from cropland, through parks and into lakes remains dirty, resulting in algae blooms that close beaches and spawn swimming advisories. There’s little or no courage or political will at the Capitol, in either party, to do something about it.

So what’s the end game? Privatization of state parks? All-terrain robot rangers? Armed drones?

If you want to know what we truly value, check out the money mountain. If you want to know what it costs Iowa, visit the mountains of neglect.

(319) 398-8262; todd.dorman@thegazette.com