Chetchase 2010 - The Week

Iowa's race for governor, now suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder.

1. CASH FOR CLUNKERS --  Top gubernatorial contenders disclosed the fruits of their fundraising prowess this past week.

Two contenders set the pace.

In this corner is current triathlete and former Hoover Husky, Gov. Chet "War Chest" Culver, who raised $2.1 million and has $2.5 million in the bank.

In the other corner is four-term governor and former military policeman, Terry "The Comeback" Branstad, who raised $1.5 million in just a few short months and has $1.3 million in the bank. He formally jumped into the race just this week, and his internal polling shows him beating the stuffing out of his GOP rivals, at this early date.

(This section is about campaign finance. Please take this short pause as a chance to yawn. Thank you.)

Chetchase had some stuff  to do, so there was little time for an ambitious, fine-toothed combing of the disclosure reports.

But there was time for some pretty serious skimming.

Branstad's document drop had about what you would expect --  lot of familiar Republican names connected to some fairly hefty donations.

I saw a $25,00 Bruce Rastetter contribution, and $25,000 more from Brent Rastetter. Trucking exec. John Smith of Cedar Rapids chipped in $25,000 way back in October. John Pappajohn contributed $10,000. Don Lamberti of Casey's fame also gave $25,000.

I also saw at least one $2,500 donation from Doug Gross. Still openly associating with the establishment, eh Branstad?

Branstad got $50,000 from a guy named Russell M. Stidolph, who is a Connecticut venture capitalist with an interest in biofuels.

Culver's report was a little more interesting, beyond the expected piles of union PAC loot, DGA bucks etc.

Even though Culver is "personally" against gay marriage, he still got $5,000 thrown on his pile from James C. Hormel, a gay philanthropist from San Francisco and former ambassador to Luxembourg. His appointment as America's first gay ambassador in 1999 was controversial at the time.

Culver picked up some bucks in Texas, including $5,000 from Marc Stanley, head of the National Jewish Democratic Council and an occasional HuffPost blogger. He also snagged $10,000 gifts from prominent Dallas attorney Lisa Blue Baron and Dallas media exec. Scott Ginsburg.

Then there are the usual suspects. William C. Knapp delivered two $50,000 contributions. Gerald Kirke, Kyle Krause and Jerry Crawford had $25,000 donations on the list. Former AG Bonnie Campbell gave $12,500.

Both Culver and Branstad got $10,000 from Spencer businessman Toby Shine. Hedging his bets. Smart.

2. GET ALONG, DAMMIT -- Linn County Republicans, led by County Supervisor Brent Oleson, approved a resolution asking Republican gubernatorial candidates who show up around here to sign a pledge saying they will support the eventual nominee.

This loyalty business popped up after the Iowa Family Policy Center endorsed Bob Vander Plaats at a Statehouse rally and declared that it would not support Branstad if he wins in June. That bit of drama led to all sorts of debate about party unity and speculation on whether a defeated Vander Plaats might run as an independent.

So here's the pledge:

WHEREAS, the Republican Party of Linn County is governed by the Constitution of the Republican Party of Linn County, last amended in March 2006, and

WHEREAS, Section IV. of the Linn County Republican Party Constitution states a member of the local party “may be removed by the County Central Committee for inattention to duty, incompetence, or active support of an opponent of a Republican nominee”, and

WHEREAS, the Linn County Republican Party hosts events and invites candidates to speak at events supported by the financial contributions of local Republicans and party members, and

WHEREAS, the Linn County Republican Party works to support duly nominated candidates for high political office throughout the state of Iowa that include, local, state and federal offices, and

WHEREAS, the Linn County Republican Party cannot support efforts or candidates who oppose or indicate they will oppose a duly nominated candidate for high political office, and

WHEREAS, the Linn County Republican Party will not aid or provide a forum for candidates or others who will oppose a duly elected Republican Party of Iowa nominee for high political office.

BE IT THEREFORE RESOLVED by the Republican Central Committee, Linn County, Iowa, this date met in lawful session, that the Central Committee encourages contested primary candidates for Governor to pledge support for the primary process and of the eventual duly elected Republican nominee so that our primary objectives of defeating Chet Culver and electing a Republican as Governor of Iowa is met. This pledge shall be asked of each candidate for Governor upon the first public event attended by said candidate or at the Iowa Caucuses held at Washington High School, whichever shall occur first.

That's all fine and good. But I think I have a more realistic version that all candidates, now and in the future, would be happy to sign:

See now, I think that works.

Furthermore, I pledge to work tirelessly for our nominee's election. But I reserve the right to do so with somewhat muted enthusiasm and through painfully gritted teeth. I mean, if I actually lose to one of these hacks, I'll be too angry to speak coherently, let alone offer even the faintest praise. I'm totally going to win, unless, of course, all the two-bit distortions thrown at me actually stick. And if I actually lose, what do you want me to do, jump up and down and fire off rockets? Please.

Furthermore, I promise to stand behind our party's nominee 110 percent. But, if possible, I'd probably prefer to stand off to the side and out of camera range. When he or she inevitably flames out, I don't want to be forever gawking in the background of some archival political pratfall.

I will not, under any circumstances, mount an independent challenge. As far as you know.

Furthermore, I pledge to work to secure the critical resources necessary to ensure our nominees' success. But don't look at me. I'm already tapped out after having to buy pricey ads to answer a bunch of scurrilous charges. I even had to borrow a pen to sign this pledge. And where are my yard signs? They didn't just disappear into thin air.

Furthermore, I promise to vigorously defend our nominee against attacks from our opponents. Except for the ones pulled directly from my own speeches. That could get sort of awkward.

Be it therefore resolved that I will, to the best of my ability, support, encourage and defend the nominee of our party at this critical time in our history, while acknowledging that there will be private moments when I pray, quietly, he or she will finally get the comeuppance they so richly deserve.