ChetChase 2010 - The Week

1. Chetiditarod -- Gov. Chet Culver is in Alaska today and Saturday, telling Sarah "Drill Baby Drill" Palin's former constituents about the virtues of green energy, Iowa-style.

But Culver has to be careful. Strange things can happen to governors when they speak in Alaska. Climate, altitude, who knows?

He might end up giving this speech. Cue the bongos:

Back in Iowa, riding gravel roads through agriculture's finest show

Soaring between the beans and the corns

Wind Turbines, the great ones, spin, red lights blinking in the dark

Beautiful beacons of majestic Power Funds.

And then the extremes.

In winter roads 100 percent snow and ice covered, travel not recommended. Spinning 180 degrees.

The cold though, doesn't it split the kringlas from the kolaches?

And in the summertime, such extremes

Great state fair,  5,000 calories more than just some months before

And hundreds more TUMS chewed than just some months from now.

All fried. All sticks.

With heartburn blooming

And now mighty gold rivers of ethanol rushing

With I-Jobs momentum building, merciless are the critics

It is as throughout Iowa that Big Lug's road

Is teeming with rivals

Polls headed south. To my future?

Sorry, William Shatner was unavailable.

2.World Wide Fong --Republican candidate for governor Christian Fong has a real live website on the internets. Color scheme? Red white and blue. Cue The Bean Walker siren.

Slogan?  "Restoring the Iowa Dream."

Uh, I am definitely against that.

Features include a "Breaking News" section, with the latest post dated July 23.  There's a list of people who "Believe in Christian Fong." Yes, Amber Ferry, there is a Christian Fong.

And you can follow him on Twitter:

2 y/o Elsa got sick (i.e. bfast revisited) 15 miles into trip to CBluffs for campaign day. Dad + Gov candidate = adventure!

Man, I hate cleaning up bfast revisited.

3. A Sovereign for Your Thoughts -- Republican gubernatorial near-hopeful Paul McKinley is itching to get all up in the federal government's face about Iowa's sovereignty.

McKinley, who is minority leader in the Iowa Senate, wanted to pass a resolution telling the federal government to stop mandating that states do stuff, like take stimulus money, reform health care etc. Democrats who run the Senate said forget it. Now McKinley is crying foul.

From the Iowa Independent:

Sovereignty supporters point to things like mandates on money distributed as part of the federal stimulus package as evidence the government has overstepped its bounds. President Barack Obama's push for health care reform has also riled this group over fear of a government-run system. Last week, Texas Gov. Rick Perry threatened to invoke the 10th Amendment to resist health care reform.

There's two places where this will be seen as a real hoot.

One would be here in CR, where we still need hundreds of millions of dollars worth of federal assistance to recover from flooding. So if we could put off the revolution until we get that, we'd sure appreciate it.

The other would be in county courthouses and city halls across Iowa, where they deal with state mandates every day, mandates approved by both Democrats and Republicans. Oh, and how about all the times lawmakers refused to give them local control, smoking ban, hog lots etc.

Cue the pots and kettles.

4. It's Good to Be the Gov. -- The Des Moines Register reported this week that the Iowa Pharmacy Association spent more than $2,400 on drinks for its fateful reception in February, attended by Gov. Chet Culver, State Rep. Kerry Burt and other luminaries.

Just another special interest reception for some very special Iowans.

Burt concluded the night by being arrested for drunken driving around 2 a.m.. Culver was home by 9 p.m., according to his office.

A local doctor called my line and left a message Thursday wondering why pharmaceutical vendors who are no longer allowed to give him a free pen or a pad of sticky notes,  can still buy pricey booze for elected officials.

Very good question, doc.