Ban not so bad after all

So I was out on my annual, futile search for a truly rockin' New Fiscal Year's Eve party when I ran into my old pal Pluribus.

Seeing him sitting at the bar, with a peppermint stick dangling from his lip, reminded me that it's been five years since Iowa lawmakers banned smoking in taverns, restaurants and other public places. Pluribus, as I recall, was no fan of the ban.

Hey, Pluribus. How's it going?

“Not bad. Not great,” he said, snuffing out his peppermint stick. “I figured you'd be down at the Department of Revenue, watching the ball drop.”

Nah, that doesn't happen until September, when the last accruals come in. Everybody forgets about the accruals. Can you believe it's been five years since the smoking ban took effect? We lost some individual freedom that day, huh?

“Sure. We lost the freedom to stink up the joint. And the freedom to tar up the ceiling and walls real good. Oh, and the freedom to share the simple joys of our personally poisonous habit with everyone else, whether they liked it or not.”

Whoa. Wait a second. I thought you were against the ban. I thought we agreed that it should be up to businesses to decide smoking rules. We worried that a big Orwellian state overreach might close down our favorite spots. What changed?

“Yeah, that's what I thought. But I think it also was Orwell who said ‘To see what is in front of one's nose needs a constant struggle.' And it's plain to see that this hasn't been nearly as bad as opponents claimed. I'm not going to say no businesses were hurt, but none of my favorite bars shut down. If anything, I see more people in those places. And my nose tells me those places smell a whole lot better.

“If you need to smoke, you go outside. That's what I do. And standing in below-zero wind chill makes a guy stop and wonder just how smart he really is. Introspection, I think, is healthy.

“And if you want to get a snoot full of what it used to be like, in case you forgot, go to a casino. It's a real nose-opener, even with all the fancy ventilation equipment they've got sucking puffs out of the air.”

Wow, I never thought I'd see you nuzzle up to the nanny state.

“Nope. Just focusing my lust for liberty on other areas, such as marijuana legalization. I've become very active. So you wanna sneak out back and get really introspective?”

Uh, I'd better stick with the peppermint.