A thought or two (or three) about ‘Dine. Dwell. Do.’

So downtown Cedar Rapids has a snappy new slogan, logo and banners.

The slogan? 'Dine. Dwell. Do.”

Immediately, I felt hungry, remembered that property taxes are due very soon and that I have a million things to do, and not nearly enough time to do them.

Then, after a few deep breaths, I considered its value as a marketing pitch.

It's three times more expressive, but slightly less enthusiastic, than 'Do! Downtown Omaha.” It is far better than the recently unveiled 'In Season, Sacramento.” Try having five seasons.

It's not as good as 'Experience Our Sense of Yuma,” which, sadly, has been dropped. Downtown Las Vegas tried 'Every City Has a Soul.” Pretty sure Vegas' soul has been sold.

But 'Dine. Dwell. Do.” has its attributes.

First, those periods. There's freedom in that punctuation. Downtown boosters aren't demanding that we dine, dwell and do all at once. Maybe, after I dine, I'm just feeling way too bloated to do much of anything. That's OK. Loosen that belt. Downtown understands.

Also, one of the new banners features two clinking glasses of wine. That leads me to conclude there is a silent fourth D, 'Drink.” The fourth D may be enjoyed during the fifth season.

'Dine. Dwell. Do.” also is largely accurate. Downtown does have some great restaurants, a gradually expanding array of places to dwell and fun things to do, like see a show, catch a farmers market or watch a freight train slowly pass from the comfort of your car. I'm a big fan of downtown. I spend several hours there every weekday, and some weekends.

So Dine. Dwell. Do. makes perfect sense. Besides, 'Eat, Pray, Love” was taken.

Also, science!

A study released earlier this year by marketing and behavioral science professors at Georgetown University and UCLA found that consumers tend to get skeptical of marketing pitches that make more than three claims. Subjects were, for example, asked to judge a friend's argument that she should get back together with her boyfriend.

'He's intelligent, kind, funny and cute,” they were told. At 'cute,” eyebrows raised. Skepticism increased. But given just three attributes, subjects were more likely to conclude 'John” is a keeper.

Just more evidence of the fabled 'Power of 3,” known so well by motivational speakers, pitchers of business plans and aging celebrities who are feeling a bit under the weather. Threes are more appealing, more compelling, more, uh, triplerific.

The Holy Trinity. Three Stooges. Snap, Crackle & Pop. I bet Texas Gov. Rick Perry would be president today if only he could have remembered the third federal agency he wanted to erase. Is it any wonder that the apocalypse will come with four horsemen?

So 'Dine. Dwell. Do.” is much, much more effective than 'Dine. Dwell. Do. Dance. Dazzle. Dizzy. De-Ice. Doze.” Eyebrows would be raised. Banners would touch the ground.

But are these three words the best three words?

Was 'Live. Lunch. Lollygag.” even considered? Perhaps 'Munch. Mortgage. Meander.” could have been an option. There's also 'Hanker. Habitate. Hike.” and 'Nosh. Nest. Nap.” Or maybe a product placement deal. 'Dine. Dwell. Do the Dew.” Or a celebrity endorsement. 'Dine. Dwell. D'oh!” Forget Springfield. Homer Simpson can't get enough of Downtown Cedar Rapids!

I'm just spitballing, brainstorming and ideating. Failing, also.

A helpful colleague pointed out that, according to President Jeb Bartlett, only three English words start with 'dw.” That's dwell, dwarf and dwindle. Save your indignant protests, dweebs.

I kind of like that. 'Dwell. Dwarf. Dwindle.” I think a lot of curious folks might come downtown to see what the whole dwarf thing is about. Still, over time, I bet curiosity would dwindle.

Dwell means to 'live as a resident,” but it also means ' to speak or write insistently” on one subject. As in 'Why do you dwell so on this downtown slogan, and make your lame jokes?” Must be my odd sense of Yuma.

' Comments: (319) 398-8452; todd.dorman@the gazette.com.