A Parent’s Guide to Public School

When I told people that I was planning on writing “A Parent’s Guide to Public School,” a friend wrote on my social media:

“I have six kids in public [school]. There really isn't much to know. Get them there on time and pick them up at the end of the day, and make sure their lunch account has money in it.”

My friend is not wrong; many children will do just fine in public school as long as they get there on time and their lunch accounts have a positive balance. However, as the father of eight children who attended public schools, I want to tell you that this is not true of every child. Do you have a child who is an academic over (or under) achiever? Do you have a child who is hyper-involved in activities outside of school, like Boy Scouts, 4H, or FFA? Do you have a child who is an elite athlete? Do you have a child with medical issues? Do you have a child with a non-traditional learning style? Do you have a child who is being bullied in school? Do you have a child who is being taught content you find objectionable? If you answered “yes” to any of these (or similar) questions, getting them to school on time and watching their lunch accounts is not enough!

I experienced all these issues (and more) with kids in public school. Even so, now that my kids are adults, I feel that their public school experience was still overwhelmingly successful. So, since this is supposed to be a “guide,” here are some suggestions and examples.

The first piece of advice I would offer to any parent with children in public school is simple: get involved! You should become active in their school whether your children are struggling or not. Getting involved will help you to get to know the teachers and staff who work with your children. Equally important, it will help them get to know you. There are lots of opportunities to get involved, so choose the ones that fit your interests and personality. Over the years, I have spoken on politics to social studies class, read poetry, helped with Speech and Math teams, volunteered to sell concessions, given slideshows to French classes and even worked as a “sewing mom,” helping to sew show choir costumes for a season.

Before my eldest son started high school, I volunteered to teach some before-school computer classes for the students in AP Calculus. When my son started high school, I already knew many of the teachers and staff. So a year later when his request to move to an advanced math class had been denied. I went to the school to advocate for him. They already knew who I was and even though I was asking for something that would normally not be allowed, but they were willing to listen. In the end, he was able to join the advanced class.

Another piece of advice is that, for better or worse, families, especially large families, have a reputation in the school. On the positive side, one of my daughters taught herself basic Algebra in the summer after eighth grade so she could get into high school geometry as a freshman. Technically, she shouldn’t have been allowed to take geometry without having had Algebra class, but with older siblings who were good students, they gave her a test to evaluate her Algebra knowledge, and she got to take geometry. However, be aware that your family’s reputation may also work against you. In one instance, one of my sons struggled in a class where his older siblings had excelled. My wife went in and let the teacher know that he really had a different learning style than his siblings. Once the teacher understood, he made some accommodations, and our son did great in that class.

Sometimes, you need to be an advocate for your children. A couple of our children had some serious medical issues and, because of that, missed almost half a year of school year. We had to work with the administration, teachers, and counselors to come up with a plan to allow them to keep up with their schoolwork when they could not attend school. It helped that we had been involved and the school knew we would work with them. We were so impressed with how much the staff cared about for our kids! Despite absences, they were able to graduate at or near the top of their classes.

There may also be a time when you have to stand up to the school and object. If you find yourself in that situation, you need to be respectful and resolute. When one of my kids was in middle school, the teacher sent home a note about an exercise they were planning to show how HIV spreads in a population. I went in to discuss the exercise with the teacher. She said that every student would be given an index card. The goal for students was to get as many other students to sign their cards as they could. The goal was to show that anyone could get HIV. I said that while anyone could get HIV, the exercise ignored factors that increase or decrease the likelihood of infection. I suggested that to simulate monogamy; some students could be directed to get only one other signature. Other students could simulate hemophilia by getting several signatures. The teacher and I had a good discussion and since it was too late to change the exercise, my daughter was excused from it.

Over the years, we have worked with the school to take a kid out of class for a week to travel with me to France and allow a couple of kids to miss three or four hours of school a week for private music lessons, switch teachers for a class, and adjust schedules to overcome conflicts. In every case, we were able to come up with a solution.

Our public schools have many problems, but the teachers I know chose their profession because they care about seeing young people succeed. If you as a parent are willing to get involved, work with them, and be an advocate, you can ensure that your children have a positive experience in public school.

David Chung is a Gazette editorial fellow. david.chung@thegazette.com