Outback Bowl Confidential: Escape From Orlando

I may have a lot of concerns about the thought-processes of Americans, but I love America.

New York, Chicago, Los Angeles.

The Rockies, the coasts, the Great Lakes, the Mississippi River.

The North and the South. The East and the West. Utah and New Orleans. Minneapolis and St. Paul.

But Orlando? No. A thousand times no.

I flew from Cedar Rapids to Orlando Tuesday on an Allegiant Air non-stop (on time, no unruly passengers, an easy walk to pick up my rental car), then drove to Tampa. Or rather, crawled.

I took a toll road that took a toll on my sanity with the slow toll-takers, and the clog of traffic in the general vicinity of Disney World. Which also includes a host of other Disney properties, as well as other theme parks and other such nonsense.

Millions of people love to go there. I find it sterile, silly, and soul-crushing. But I don't care as long as I don't have to linger near it. Which I did on the tollway and Interstate 4 traffic. Seeing the outline of Mickey Mouse (pictured above) and not being able to drive away at a clip of at least 99 mph was a horror I'll not soon shake.

Finally, traffic loosened and I got to Tampa. It was hot here Wednesday, but I didn't complain.

Of course, as you can tell from the rest of this post, I'm not much of a complainer.