Let the children play and learn

The age-old debate in youth sports surrounds the question of whether or when young athletes should concentrate on only one competitive sport.

How difficult is it to play more than one sport during the same season? Should you play for a school team and a club team at the same time? Or even in the same year?

Kids need time for their academics and time away from training and games, to be involved in other extracurricular activities or simply personal time. They need time to physically and mentally heal.

If you are struggling with these decisions with your own kids, it might help to hear how star athletes and their own parents or coaches dealt with the “overbooking” of youth sports.

A recent column by Stephen Borelli in USA Today addressed the issue, starting with advising parents to “start by separating yourself from your kids’ sports experience.

“I am a proponent of kids staying active and trying out as many sports as possible, especially when they are young. But the moment we watch them step onto the field, the picture can get trickier, especially if we have played sports before.”

He wrote about how former U.S. women’s soccer player Julie Foudy reacted during her own daughter’s first game — “Izzy! You take that ball, and you runnnn! And I was like, ‘Oh, my God. I don’t know where that came from.”

Foudy continued to say parents can unintentionally “suck the joy out of kids games by getting too involved.” Allow it to be their own time to enjoy and discover the sports they love. Find that separation.

Foudy said autonomy molded her into a World Cup and Olympic champion. Her parents rarely came to her games. She explained her parents’ actions weren’t about apathy but instead were about allowing her to own her own experience.

That’s one side. On the other hand, Todd Marinovich, former Southern Cal quarterback drafted in the first round by the Raiders in 1991, said his father “did not miss a (***) practice in any sport I played, from youth” until he went to college. His father, Marv, a former NFL strength and conditioning coach, was hands on.

“Better look up (in the bleachers) at least a few times during the game so I can tell you what you need to work on,” he told Todd. The son said he wasn’t pushed into football but he would have liked his dad “hitting the breaks” occasionally.

If you find yourself interrupting your child’s experience, you can like Foudy and my own son-in-law, a former football player and youth coach, move to the end of the sidelines or bleachers, or away from the other fans.

Foudy’s former teammate, Abby Wambach, also now a soccer mom, said “we can separate even when our young kids are not playing,” such as when they have two games in the same day and you don’t want to attend the team lunch.

“Allow your son or daughter to go to it with a teammate’s parents,” she said. “You keep your peace of mind by sitting on the back deck and reading. Your kid can continue to bond with teammates.”

Borelli thinks the bonding is the most important benefit of any sport.

According to an Aspen Institute national parent survey in partnership with Utah State and Louisiana Tech Universities, the average sports parent spends three hours, 23 minutes each day their child has practice or a game dealing with sports-related activities. The survey found 56 percent of youth sports parents say they eat out two to four meals per week due to schedules, while slightly more than one in 10 families eat out five to seven meals per week.

Borelli said to ask yourselves if you are establishing healthy habits and interactions, making time to talk with each other, eating enough together or grabbing too much fast food on the run?

The fact is only about six to 7 percent of high school athletes go on to play at the NCAA level. Nothing wrong with hoping for those odds with your own child. However, that percentage is lower depending upon the sport to play Division 1.

Former American League MVP Mo Vaughn who now runs a sports academy in Florida, said “I wanted for my son to play football, basketball and baseball because I did. But he can’t and be on the major circuit in baseball; he’s gotta work and train doing this all year round, or he’s gonna fall behind. Bo Jackson says nowadays, ‘People that are trying to play two sports, that’s great but you’re gonna be on the bench playing two sports.’”

Ryan Klesko, another former MLB all-star who works with young players at Perfect Game, tells athletes to look at themselves in the mirror. If they want to play multiple sports in high school, they need to be OK with another sport ending their other competitive sport career. Injuries in one sport can affect the other sport.

Specializing in one sport can lead to overuse injuries, which result from cumulative traumas to bone, muscle and/or tendon as a function of stress without sufficient recovery time. That also can lead to psychological stress. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends one day of complete rest per week and two to three months off from any participation at all — not necessarily consecutive months.

Jeff Nelligan, author of a book about sports parenting and the father of three boys, said he would often just take a walk with his kids. Borelli said he added the dog to his walks and they left their phones at home, or at least in their pockets.

“I don’t say anything when we begin, and, without prompting, they usually just start talking. That dreaded question — ‘how was your day?’ — that rarely gets more than a one-word response is magically answered.”

I guess the bottom line is only you and your child can decide which track you take during your youth sport journey. Just be sure to stress open communication between your family members.