Hlastradmus: Hot prophet, Hot Pockets

This is a good century to be alive.

You can get the Internet on your phone and make phone calls on your computer. Instead of getting your exercise through daily life that used to be grueling, now you can drive to a health club.

And, of course, there is Jim Gaffigan's 'Hot Pockets” bit.

But most of all, there is Hlastradamus. The prophet began the 2015 college football season by giving you predictions against the spread on five games. He was correct on four of them. That's 80 percent. Do you know what they call people in Las Vegas who win on 80 percent of their bets?

'Sir.”

But the seer has never been one to rest on his laurels, mostly because his chiropractor strongly advises against it. So he's back for more this week.

Iowa State +3.5

vs. Iowa

Hlastradamus refuses to tell you who will actually win the game. He sometimes DVRs 'Scandal,” and hates it when people tweet spoilers.

But he knows that in this series, over the long haul you're better off taking the points instead of giving them. He also knows making picks in this game always makes someone mad. He was telling people to chillax hundreds of years before that was widely regarded as a verb.

Rutgers -2

vs. Washington State

Yes, Rutgers athletics has become a soap opera that makes 'Scandal” look like 'Clean Living.” But it still has a football team.

Washington State, which opened the season with a loss to FCS Portland State, will find New Jersey to be a strange and disturbing experience. And that's before it makes a side trip to Atlantic City.

Minnesota -6

at Colorado State

The Rams of Colorado State won 10 games last year, are at home, and will be gung-ho to mess with a Big Ten team. But TCU only scored 23 points against the Gophers last week, which no one else will do from now until it's time to take down the Christmas tree.

CSU isn't TCU.

Michigan State -3.5

vs. Oregon

Last week, Eastern Washington passed for 438 yards in a 61-42 loss at Oregon. If you're Michigan State quarterback Connor Cook - and if you are, why are you spending your time reading this? - you're thinking today is the day to officially declare yourself a Heisman Trophy candidate.

Hlastradamus knows what this game means to Michigan State. How does he know that? Because he's a seer, silly!

Indiana -7.5

vs. Florida International

The Hoosiers impressed no one last week when they beat Southern Illinois 48-47. Florida International impressed a lot of people when it upset UCF 15-14 on the road.

But impressionism went out of vogue in the late 19th Century. Hlastradamus, though centuries old, is a modern man. The fact he's offering this link to an Arcade Fire video called 'Modern Man” is all the proof you need.