Hlastradamus: Fresh off a Hlastradisaster

The only explanation is that Hlastradamus ate a bad piece of 16th Century fish.

He went 0-5 against the spread last week. He would have gone 0-6, but he only picked five games.

The seer (Season record: 4-6) did the worst thing anyone could do last week and picked three Big Ten teams to cover. And the one Big Ten team he picked not to cover, Penn State, did just that in a week the league was 2-11 against the number.

So why believe in him now? Because people are easily deceived. No, that was a joke. It's because Hlastradamus has proven time after time over the centuries that tough times don't last, tough prophets do.

And now, five winners for this week:

Iowa -10.5

vs. Iowa State. The Cyclones have three straight covers against FBS teams. Iowa hasn't covered this year.

None of the chirping in Hlastradmus' ear this week has told him Iowa can handle that big a number. But since when do parakeets know anything about college football?

Indiana -7

at Bowling Green. The Big Ten was 2-2 against the MAC last week. You know the Big Ten's slogan: 'We'll play MAC teams any time, anywhere, and we'll win at least half the time.”

Minnesota +14

at TCU. When Gophers and Horned Frogs get together for an event, it's a sign the Apocalypse is approaching. No, wait. The prophet got his signs of the Apocalypse mixed up with his list of unattractive rodents and reptiles.

Rutgers +3

vs. Penn State. Now that Penn State has been ruled eligible to go to a bowl game, it will act like a Big Ten marquee football program and start losing.

Nebraska -10 at Fresno State. The Fresnots lost by 39 points at USC and by 32 at Utah. If the Huskers don't win this game, they may want to consider just staying in central California and getting jobs with the Big Fresno Fair.