Hlas: I got roped in by Wallenda (with video)

WEST ALLIS, Wis. - Who's nuttier, the guy who walks on a tightrope 10 stories above the ground, or someone who pays 10 bucks to park on someone's front lawn to go watch him?

Tuesday afternoon, I asked family and friends what to do. I had just that Nik Wallenda, he of the tightrope-walking Wallenda dynasty, would be doing his thing at the Wisconsin State Fair that evening. They all said go see him.

Or maybe they told me to get on a high wire myself. I wasn't really listening.

It should be noted I already was in Wisconsin for the PGA Championship. It's not like I made a 500-mile round to see a man on a wire. The fairgrounds are less than 10 miles from my hotel. But still, it was battling I-94 traffic (the entire freeway seems to be under construction) at rush hour, then trying to find a place to park. I ended up on someone's front lawn, and I wasn't alone. House after house had people cashing in by renting parking spaces in their yards.

It was a bigger thrill to me to intentionally drive an SUV on a neighborhood sidewalk than to see a guy walking 1,576 feet on a steel wire 10 stories above the Milwaukee Mile Speedway.

Getting into the fair cost $12 for an adult. It was another $3 to see Wallenda defy death in front what the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel estimated was about 1,000 spectators. There were no sudden blasts of wind, no scary slips, no moments of terror. It took Wallenda a half-hour or so to go the distance, and that was that.

This, by the way, is the same dude who has tightrope-walked over Niagara Falls and the Grand Canyon. Which makes walking above a racetrack seem like pretty tame stuff, though one false step would have caused just as grotesque a finish as it would have at either of the two natural wonders.

Wallenda gave commentary the entire way via a wireless microphone and never sounded the slightest bit apprehensive. Which was bitterly disappointing to me. I pay three bucks to see someone try to cheat the Grim Reaper, I want him to sweat. A lot.

This being the first state fair of any kind I'd ever attended, I was more shocked and frightened when I wandered through the Swine & Goat barn. People marched hogs through the building as if they were horses or dogs. Now that's something you don't see every day.