Big Ten Power Rankings: Buckeyes had lasers, Huskers saw red

Big Ten football power rankings for people who are going to vote for themselves Tuesday, because better the devil you know. 

1. Michigan (6-0 Big Ten, 9-0 overall):

The Wolverines didn't punt in their 59-3 win over Maryland Saturday. So they'll be rusty at Iowa Saturday.

2. Ohio State (5-1, 8-1)

: There were new lasers in Ohio State's team tunnel Saturday night, with the Buckeyes' players cast in neon red. Then they beat Nebraska 62-3. Which they probably enjoyed, too. But hey, lasers.

Ohio State has lasers going through the home tunnel November 5, 2016

Ohio State has lasers going through the home tunnel pic.twitter.com/ir6QIVuxqv

— Ari Wasserman (@AriWasserman)

3. Penn State (5-1, 7-2):

During the Hawkeyes' radio broadcast Saturday, Gary Dolphin said Penn State running back Saquon Barkley is built like Charles Barkley. Saquon is 5-foot-11 and weighs 223 pounds. Charles is 6-5 and hasn't weighed 223 since he was in middle school.

4. Wisconsin (4-2, 7-2):

The road to the West Division title runs through Madison. So do U.S. highways 12, 14, 18 and 151.

5. Line of Demarcation:

There are four very good teams in the league. And there are 10 others.

6. Nebraska (4-2, 7-2)

: Over the past 50 years, Ohio State and Nebraska are 1-2 in national winning percentage. So they are close in something.

7. Minnesota (4-2, 7-2)

: The Gophers are tied for first place in the West. That's because they have beaten Maryland, Rutgers, Illinois and Purdue in succession. What, they couldn't schedule the Cleveland Browns, too?

8. Northwestern (3-3, 4-5)

: Northwestern's marching band played 'Go, Cubs, Go' at halftime. The school's football team had fewer points against Wisconsin (7) Saturday than the Cubs had runs in Game 7 of the World Series (8).

9. Iowa (3-3, 5-4)

: Some consolation: The Hawkeyes aren't Michigan State. Something not so consoling: They aren't Michigan.

10. Indiana (3-3, 5-4):

The Hoosiers won 33-27 at Rutgers after trailing 24-13. In a fit of anger, New Jersey promptly convicted two more of Chris Christie's former aides.

11. Maryland (2-4, 5-4):

Terrapins Coach DJ Durkin was Jim Harbaugh's defensive coordinator last year. Michigan still has a defense. Durkin doesn't.

12. Illinois (2-4, 3-6):

The Illini beat Michigan State, 24-17. Lovie Smith called three consecutive timeouts before the Spartans' last offensive play. If he'd have pulled that when he coached in the NFL, the Saints would have put a bounty out on him.

13. Purdue (1-5, 3-6):

Purdue has beaten Illinois, which beat Michigan State, which beat Notre Dame, which used to beat teams.

14. (tie) Michigan State and Rutgers (both 0-6, 2-7):

Rutgers is at Michigan State Saturday. Much like Tuesday's election, someone will win ... we think.

Comments: (319) 368-8840; mike.hlas@thegazette.com