Big Ten football rankings: Wisconsin Badgers and their fans tip over BYU

Here are this week's Big Ten football rankings, based on knee-jerk impulses rather than knee-jerk data.

1.

Penn State

3-0

3-0

Last week, Georgia State Coach Shawn Elliott said 'Win or lose, Penn State's going to know we came up there to play a football game. I can assure you that.' That guarantee wasn't as good as the $1.2 million Penn State gave Georgia State to take a 56-0 beating.

 

2.

Wisconsin

3-0

3-0

City Limits, the only gay bar in Provo and one of just two bars in town, opened two hours earlier than usual Saturday to welcome Wisconsin fans seeking beer and such on the day their team won 40-6 at BYU. Those Badger backers responded appreciatively. 'Wisconsin fans are better tippers than the Utah fans and you can put that in your story,' a bartender told Outsports.com.

 

3.

Minnesota

3-0

3-0

The Gophers haven't allowed a second-half point, are third nationally in scoring defense, and are 10th in total defense. If you think they haven't played anyone of note, you may be on to something.

 

4.

Michigan

3-0

3-0

The Wolverines have reached the red zone 10 times in three games, but converted just one of those opportunities into touchdowns. Michigan's Quinn Nordin has 11 field goals. He needs deep heat, Epsom salt and peppermint tea for his tired kicking leg.

 

5.

Ohio State

2-1

2-1

On Saturday, Ohio State defeated Army and Michigan beat Air Force. But Coast Guard salvaged the day by stopping Nichols, 13-0.

 

6.

Iowa

3-0

3-0

ESPN's College GameDay could have come to Iowa City this Saturday for the Penn State-Iowa game, but instead will set up shop in New York's Times Square. It may have been payback for the Hawkeyes not asking Paul Finebaum to be their honorary captain this week.

 

7.

Purdue

2-1

2-1

'Purdue' rhymes with 'Mizzou,' which rhymes with 'PU,' which is what Mizzou fans said after PU's 35-3 coup at Mizzou.

 

8.

Maryland

2-0

2-0

 

 

8.

Michigan State

2-0

2-0

Both the Terps and Spartans were idle Saturday. Correction: They simply didn't have a football game scheduled that day. Why do we rush to judge?

 

10.

Indiana

1-1

1-1

Indiana Jones' actual name is Dr. Henry Walton Jones Jr. He was nicknamed for his childhood dog, Indiana. No, the Hoosiers didn't play Saturday, either.

 

11.

September Bowl Projections

Jerry Palm of CBSsports.com has Iowa playing LSU in the Music City Bowl. Which means there is no way in the world Iowa will play LSU in the Music City Bowl.

 

12.

Northwestern

2-1

2-1

The Wildcats followed a one-sided loss at Duke with a 49-7 win over Bowling Green.' To get knocked down like that you have one of two choices: you can pout and feel sorry for yourself or you can do something about it.,' said Northwestern Coach Pat Fitzgerald. Why can't you do both? People shouldn't put limitations on themselves.

 

13.

Illinois

2-1

2-1

The Fighting Illini's 47-23 loss at South Florida Friday night was the worst showing by a Big Ten football team in Tampa since, well, the previous one. Which was a certain bowl game named for a chain of steakhouses last January, dot-dot-dot, dee-dee-dee.

 

14.

Rutgers

1-2

1-2

On Saturday, the Dalai Lama tweeted 'What we need today are universal values based not on faith but on scientific findings, common experience and common sense.' To which Rutgers added, 'And more home games against Morgan State.'

 

15.

Nebraska

1-2

1-2

On Saturday, Nebraska native and Huskers superfan Larry the Cable Guy tweeted 'Sickening loss. No words. We lose to NIU AND are getting squeezed out of our traditional thanksgiving game. Fantastic leadership.' Larry is no Dalai Lama.