Big Ten football rankings: Hot dogs, beer and firearms

Floyd of Rosedale makes his annual public appearance this Saturday.

It's not that he wants to be a recluse. The bronzed pig is just self-conscious about his weight.

You don't have to play the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon for very long to connect Floyd. And that is this week's segue for these Big Ten performance rankings.

1. Penn State (4-0 Big Ten, 7-0 overall):

Penn State beat Iowa, which beat Iowa State, which beat Oklahoma, which rolled over Ohio State. So Saturday's Penn State-Ohio State game should be ... pretty darn intense.

2. Ohio State (4-1, 6-1): Ohio State had $1.1 million in beer sales at Ohio Stadium last year. Would sales dramatically increase if the Buckeyes were lousy?

3. Wisconsin (4-0, 7-0)

: Jonathan Taylor became the seventh player in major-college football history to reach 1,000 rushing yards in his seventh career game. The last player to do it was P.J. Hill in 2006. He played for … Wisconsin. Rushing is kind of a thing there.

4. Michigan State (4-1, 6-1):

Spartans running back LJ Scott was arrested Wednesday for a seventh driving infraction in the past two years. He was withheld from MSU's game against Indiana Saturday. For the Spartans' first possession, that is. Scott carried 22 times for 87 yards and a touchdown and MSU beat the Hoosiers, 17-9.

5. Rutgers (2-2, 3-4)

: Rutgers has won twice as many Big Ten games in the last two weeks (two) as it did in 2015 and 2016 combined. Math is fun.

6. Michigan (2-2, 5-2):

Brady Hoke was 25-8 in his first 33 games as Michigan's head coach. Jim Harbaugh has matched that. And nothing more.

7. Northwestern (2-2, 4-3):

Mustard's Last Stand, a seller of Polish sausages and hot dogs that has been next to Northwestern's Ryan Field since 1969, averages 4.5 stars on Tripadvisor.com, but just 3.5 stars on Yelp. The former is the coaches' poll, the latter the media poll.

8. Iowa (1-3, 4-3)

: Two Hawkeye punters combined to punt six times for a 53-yard average at Northwestern, and kicker Miguel Recinos made a game-tying 48-yard field goal with 1:30 left in the fourth quarter. Iowa fans felt like joining in and kicking something after the 17-10 loss.

9 or 13. Minnesota (1-3, 4-3):

The Gophers rushed for 292 yards, passed for 47 in their 24-17 win over Illinois. A suggestion to Iowa's defense this Saturday: Stop the run.

9. or 13. Nebraska (2-2, 3-4): Nebraska has 359 consecutive home sellouts. In August 1992, the Golden Gate Bridge's foghorns blew for 359 hours. That was a foggy month. Husker fans feel the same about this one.

9. or 13. Indiana (0-4, 3-4): Billy Swaggerty of Indiana's Howard County had more than a dozen firearms valued at a total of $10,000 stolen in May. 'Don't let strippers in your house,' Swaggerty said about the theft.

9. or 13. Purdue (1-3, 3-4):

Purdue outgained Rutgers 474 yards to 215 and ran 85 plays to Rutgers' 55 Saturday, but lost 14-12. The Carolina Panthers outgained the Chicago Bears 293 yards to 153 and ran 69 plays to the Bears' 37 Sunday, but lost 17-3. Statistics are fun.

9. or 13. Maryland (1-3, 3-4):

The closing line on the Maryland-Wisconsin game was Wisconsin by 24 points. The Badgers kicked a 33-yard field goal with: 36 left to beat the Terrapins by 25 points. Gambling is/isn't fun.

14. Illinois (0-4, 2-5): Illini football is advertised on at least two billboards on I-294 near O'Hare Airport. A lot more O'Hare-area billboards picture former Chicago Bear Brian Urlacher promoting a hair-restoration company. It's best to just focus on your driving.