On the darkest days of the lunar month, Indian Americans celebrate the triumph of light with Diwali

MARION — In an ornate dress dripping with strings of beadwork, Anu Ambati's outfit was a paragon of the holiday she wore it for at Sunday’s party.

On one of the darkest nights of the lunar calendar, it reflected distinct sparkles of light against a dark background in a way that symbolized what Diwali is all about: the triumph of light over darkness.

With gold accents to direct the eyes, it gave a nod to a lucky color in Indian culture — one that also wraps traditional gifts for children in an homage to Lakshmi, the Hindu goddess of wealth and fortune.

After families at the party took entire days to thoroughly clean and decorate their homes, Indian American families dressed to the nines for Diwali. Ambati’s dress took about two hours to put together and a similar amount of effort to keep together amid the exuberance of thumping music, sparklers in the backyard and toasts bonding Indian immigrants and their children with a community they’ve come to call home.

Growing up in predominantly white Michigan, it was a type of dress she avoided in a home that didn’t really celebrate Diwali, even with Indian parents. Born in India but growing up in the United States since she was 5, blending in often meant denying her heritage.

About 14 years ago, the Collins program manager started celebrating Diwali with Indian friends after being invited to their parties in Cedar Rapids and Marion. Now with two children of her own, she hopes to instill in them the gift Diwali gave her: being able to belong to different worlds without denying who she is.

“I’ve learned that I can be as Indian as I am American,” she said. “Discovering people who grew up (in India) and made an assimilated life here while embracing their culture allowed me to see that it doesn’t matter where you’re from. I’ve learned to be myself no matter where I am — and I don’t have to fit in.”

By embracing the celebration as an adult, Diwali gave her a sense of belonging and community as she learned more about her heritage. In the increasingly diverse world her children are growing up in, she thinks that connection is worth its weight in gold.

“This world is so diverse. If you don’t know who you are, how are you going to appreciate anything else,” Ambati said. “You need to understand your own roots and where you came from, then you have an appreciation for others.”

Finding common ground

In that sense, Diwali’s five days of celebration, though longer than American holidays, aren’t unlike the ones celebrated by most others in Iowa. In educating co-workers and neighbors on what the Festival of Lights means, she said it isn’t hard for them to see the common ground between Diwali and Thanksgiving, Christmas or Easter: celebrations of life, community and family.

“It made me realize that no matter what culture you’re from, the concept is the same — giving back, being together, showing affection,” she said. “Happiness is the reason we celebrate anything.”

For Indian American children growing up in a country largely unaware of Diwali, the Sunday night party was an abbreviated version of the celebration many of their parents or grandparents would have had in India. There, Karishma Huddar said children receive about 10 days off from school, similar to how winter breaks here coincide with Christmas and New Year’s Day. Instead of sparklers, they would be lighting bigger fireworks.

“It’s a festival where you get to spend a lot of time with your family, do a lot of things you couldn’t do,” Huddar said. “We’d just drive around, I’d go to all my aunts and uncles houses and give them presents.”

With friends, Huddar helped organize “Help Spread the Light” in 2016, an initiative where their families wrap a multitude of gifts for various ages to drop off at nonprofits including the Boys & Girls Club, Families Helping Families and Together We Achieve. By giving back to others, the families teach their children how to spread the joy of Diwali.

In many small ways, the process of educating Cedar Rapids about Diwali has been one person at a time. Huddar hopes Diwali the holiday can impart to others the importance of diversity and acceptance — one of many ways to usher in light over darkness.

Barriers to celebrating

With no other family in the United States, Huddar and her husband have embraced Diwali’s traditions even more, realizing its importance as they grow older. But for children like hers, celebrating comes with hurdles, and jumping those hurdles comes with a price.

“Some people go to India (to celebrate), but I can’t — I have school tomorrow,” Yuvi Huddar, 9, said after narrating some of his favorite stories about the origins of Diwali.

On a holiday they treat with the same significance as Christmas, Indian American children still have to go to school. Parents who have tried to take their children out of school to celebrate are often met with resistance from academically-driven children who don’t want to ruin their perfect attendance or fall behind in studies.

Parents like Sarika Bhakta are trying to find a solution that balances the need for cultural celebrations with obligations at school. It’s important for her to pass on Diwali so that they don’t feel a conflict between assimilating and celebrating who they are.

“You shouldn’t have to feel a tug of war,” she said.

Huddar, Bhakta and other parents have been working with their school districts to advocate for the flexibility to celebrate important holidays with their families without being penalized. Recognizing it would be a huge step toward diversity, equity and inclusion, they said.

“It’s not about the holiday. It’s about respecting each other and giving that freedom,” said mother Bhumika Nayak, who has lived in Cedar Rapids since 2010.

What others can learn

With many gods and goddesses, Hinduism is a vast religion. But for those who belong to other faiths or a lack thereof, Diwali’s message is digestible: celebrating goodness over evil, giving back and celebrating humanity in a positive way.

Spreading the light of Diwali isn’t about pushing religion on anyone, Bhakta said — it’s about increasing awareness from a cultural competency perspective.

“The richness is, in itself, an opportunity to learn,” she said. “We need to celebrate different lived experiences so we can truly understand humanity.”

Hosting grand events and having people over is a big part of Indian culture, Nayak said. But in blending the best of the Indian roots with their American homes, Diwali opens the doors for everyone.

“You’re not constrained or bounded in any way — it’s opening your heart and your homes for everyone,” she said.

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