In Golf, Priest Gets Last Word, Twice

A couple of golf jokes involving a priest. Maybe you've heard them. Maybe you haven't:

Joe and his priest near the end of their match-play golf contest with Joe up 6 holes with only 7 to play.

The priest can only sigh as he fills in the scorecard from the last hole and moves on to the next tee.

"Cheer up Father," Joe says, sensing the priest's frustration. "Just think, one of these days you will be giving the services at my funeral. You'll have the last word."

The Priest tried to grin as he looked at Joe, but knew even that would be hopeless.

"Yes," the priest said, "that may be true. But it will still be your hole."

 And then there's this one:

A fellow is ready to tee off on the first hole when a second fellow approaches and asks if he can join him.

"I usually play alone," the first says, "but if you want to join me, that's fine."

They are even after the first couple of holes so the second guy says, "Hey, we're about evenly matched. How about we play for five bucks a hole?

"I usually don't bet," the first golfer says, "but I suppose we can try it this once."

The second guy wins the rest of the holes. As they walk off the eighteenth green and he accepts his $80 in winnings, he confesses that he's the pro at a neighboring course and likes to pick on suckers.

"Glad to meet you," the first golfer says. "I'm the priest at St. Mary's."

Flustered, the golf pro apologizes and offers to return the money to the priest.

"No, you won fair and square," the priest says. "I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."

"Well," the golfer says, "is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

"You could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation," the priest says, "Then, if you bring your mother and father by after Mass, I'll marry them for you."