In Iowa: Progress addressing ‘me too’ must come from ‘men too’

Me too.

If you haven't seen those words written across your social media timelines yet, let me fill you in. They are part of a campaign spreading rapidly and widely as thousands of women write 'me too” if they have experienced sexual harassment or assault.

My Facebook and Twitter timelines have been flooded with the simple phrase and with women sharing their experiences.

But here's the thing. I'm not sure that it matters whether I write 'me too.” Women have been saying these things are problems for decades.

Another viral hashtag, #YesAllWomen, was not that long ago, after we had to assure some dudes that we knew that #NotAllMen were harassers, but that pretty much all women know what it is to be harassed.

How many times do women have to say that harassment is universal, ubiquitous, and that abuse is all too common, before we are taken seriously?

If I write, 'me too,” do you see me as a victim, a survivor? I don't feel like either. I just feel like another average American woman, making her way in the world.

Do I have to qualify my 'me too” by saying, 'I was never actually assaulted, just made to fear I might be on many occasions, and that has shaped how I interact with the world in ways I assume most women share?”

If I don't write 'me too,” do you think I must be one of the lucky ones? Or do you realize how many people will never speak up because they are afraid, or are just not ready to bare that painful experience to the world, or because they just don't believe doing so can make a difference?

I'll say 'me too” if that's what it takes. But I think we need more than women speaking up and saying they're tired of being harassed and tired of not being believed when they are assaulted.

We need men to speak up and say, 'I'm going to listen to women and stop whatever it is I'm doing that they say is inappropriate,” and, 'I'm going to call this behavior out when I see my friends and brothers and co-workers engaging in it.”

We need men to say, 'I'm going to start recognizing the ways our culture silences women and how I benefit from that system, and I'm going to work to dismantle it whenever I can.”

I have seen some men saying these things and I applaud them. But I want to see just as many men saying them as I have seen women saying, 'Me too.”

We need men to say, 'I, too, stand with all the women saying, ‘Me too,'” so that the women who come after us won't have to.

l Comments: (319) 398-8434; alison.gowans@thegazette.com