Emerging Leaders: How to show that teammates’ accomplishments are due to my leadership skills

I was answering questions after a keynote presentation at a women's leadership conference, and one in particular stood out: 'I always like to give recognition where it's due,' said the ambitious young engineer, 'but how do I help my manager see that my teammates' accomplishments are due to my leadership skills?'

'Great question' I responded to her, 'but here's the thing about leadership that's really, really different from being an individual contributor: It's not about you anymore.'

This is one of the toughest things about being a leader — you need to shift your mind-set so that you no longer derive gratification from your own work effort and wins, and train yourself to get job satisfaction from seeing the team's effort and their wins instead.

So that you don't just feel satisfied with putting in a solid day's work yourself, but care deeply about when the team is giving their all.

So that when the team struggles, you roll up your sleeves and do whatever it takes to clear a path for them.

So that when the team is praised, you as leader feel praised, too.

I get it. You're not officially anyone's leader yet. You're a team member and a peer who has aspirations to lead but don't yet have the leadership title.

But as we're on the topic, here are two simple reasons why you may want to take the leadership approach, sooner rather than later:

Reason No. 1: It's a different type of recognition

Early on in your career, when you lead a team to achieve something and they get all the accolades, it can feel threatening at first.

'When will it be my moment in the spotlight?' you ask yourself. It can often seem as if the spotlight isn't big enough for more than one or two people, especially if it's a highly competitive team.

But think about what's possible in the longer term if you build a reputation for being the leader among peers who accelerates the productivity of everyone around her. In time, when you're known as that person, seeing other people get praise is not a threat — it's actually a compliment to you and your leadership abilities.

As you evolve into leadership, you'll begin to be recognized — and rewarded — for a different skill set.

Reason No. 2: There's enough praise to go round

In any case, praise doesn't have to be scarce. When you speak up to acknowledge a win, you can acknowledge yourself and the team as well, by using language that's all-inclusive.

For example, you might say something like, 'I led the team and we accomplished ...' or 'The team and I achieved … .' Or even, 'We as a team were able to ...

'

You're still saying the same thing, but rather than using 'I' exclusively, you're beginning to weave 'we' into your speech patterns as well — the mark of a true leader.

I recognize that it can be tough to embrace this new way of thinking. Leadership coach Susan J. Ritchie says, 'You can be a leader without being the leader.'

And remember, the best leaders don't scramble over one another to reach the top. Instead, they lift others up as they climb.

• Jo Miller is founding editor of BeLeaderly.com and CEO of Women's Leadership Coaching Inc., @jo_miller