Emerging Leaders: How I sucked it up, got over my fear and became really good at public speaking

I haven't always enjoyed giving speaking presentations. Far from it, in fact.

In my late teens, my best friend and I won slots to go to a camp that promised to expose us to a variety of enriching experiences.

The only thing I clearly remember about that camp was that the session on the agenda for Wednesday morning titled 'public speaking.” So uncomfortable was I with the concept of public speaking that the thought of even being in a room where public speaking was being discussed completely freaked me out.

So I stayed in bed and pretended to be sick that day.

My beastie, Melanie, the good-natured extrovert, came bounding into the dorm that afternoon, excited to report that she had been asked to act out putting on a pair of stockings. I'll admit, that actually didn't sound too bad, but if you had told me then, at 16 years of age, that I would one day make my living from public speaking - I think my heart would have stopped beating.

It has been reported that people are more afraid of public speaking than of death. While it may sound like an exaggeration, I honestly can say that my 16-year-old self completely can relate to that statement.

Around that time, my dad told me, 'If you can speak well and write well, people will assume you're an expert.”

The idea of being an expert intrigued me, and I wanted to be one so badly I realized that, if that was what it was going to take, I one day would have to overcome my fear of public speaking.

If there was a point in my life when I stopped avoiding public speaking, I think it must have come in my mid-twenties. That was when I left my corporate career and started a coaching business.

I soon realized that the other coaches I admired had great platform skills and the ability to command an audience.

I joined Toastmasters, and despite the clammy hands and racing pulse that accompanied each attempt, I stuck with it. The group was very supportive, and I received positive reinforcement along with actionable feedback.

I knew instinctively that everything I wanted to achieve in my career would come a whole lot easier if I could speak in front of groups. I made a pact with myself to say 'yes” to every speaking opportunity, no matter how big or small.

Fast forward to my early 30s and the night before my first really big speaking gig for a large Wall Street firm. They clearly have mistaken me for someone else and hired me anyway.

I barely slept for the two nights before the event. But somehow, I managed to get through it.

Wooh! The adrenaline payoff was addictive, and I pledged to remember that no matter how stressful the buildup, the payoff was worth it.

Ten years later, I make my living from delivering workshops, webinars and keynotes. I am as comfortable speaking to 600 people as I am speaking to six.

Public speaking won't kill you. (I promise!) And here's another promise I can make with confidence - to anyone who thinks that developing public speaking skills will enhance your career, it most definitely will.

l Jo Miller is founding editor of BeLeaderly.com and CEO of Women's Leadership Coaching Inc.; @jo_miller