Effects linger long after kids suffer sexual abuse

Adam struggles every day with anger and aggressive behavior. He has flashbacks of events that are unimaginable for most people, and his sleepless nights are ruled by nightmares in which a monster harms him over and over again.

Adam has been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. He's not a soldier who was in combat, but he has battle scars just the same. Adam is a 6-year-old who was sexually molested three years ago at a day-care center for about two months. Those few months forever changed his life.

“He was our happy, jolly baby. We use to call him our little Buddha. Every once in a while ... I see him being joyful but ... there's no more innocence in my baby,” said Jane, Adam's mother, nearly tearing up.

Adam's abuser, Zebedee Hodge, 40, has been convicted and is serving 20 years in prison but the suffering for the child victims doesn't end when their abusers are sentenced. Mental health professionals say many children suffer long-term effects and require therapy.

Jane and two other parents shared their children's recovery process with The Gazette in hopes it might provide courage and support to other families dealing with child sexual abuse. Real names are not being used in this story to protect the victims' identities.

The other two victims were sexually abused by the same man, a close friend of their families. They are much older than Adam but also are struggling to heal.

Anne, now 24, was abused from age 6 to 10. She told her mother and police about the abuse last year but won't talk about it today and refuses to get therapy, said her mother, Beth.

The abuse changed Anne's life, Beth said. She had problems all through high school. She's a talented artist but she had trust issues and lacked the confidence to accept an art scholarship after graduation. She can't hold down a job because “it's too overwhelming” for her and her mother is worried about her future.

Karen, now 18, has Williams syndrome, a rare genetic condition, and is developmentally disabled, so her mother thinks Karen is handling things but it's difficult to tell since she's always been friendly and outgoing. But recently she's developed trust issues with men and doesn't want them to touch her. She was abused from age 13 to 17.

“She will talk about it and then go back to playing the piano,” Nancy said. “She just put it away.”

Anne and Karen found out last week their abuser, Daniel Martin, 68, of Cedar Rapids, died from cancer. He pleaded guilty to lascivious acts with a child last month but had not been sentenced.

Beth worries her daughter won't have closure, but Karen told Nancy she “felt free.”

Sandra Fischer, a clinical psychologist with Horizons in Cedar Rapids, said many children experience similar long-term effects like Adam. Anne's refusal of therapy is common, Fischer said.

People think of children as resilient but that isn't the case when it comes to sexual abuse, Fischer said.

They have experienced a traumatic event and it can change the way their brain develops, she said. For example, a girl who has been sexually abused will go through puberty sooner. They also might become more hyper-responsive, have sleep problems and can be less trusting.

Fischer said one-third of sexually abused children develop psychological problems and they experience higher rates of physical problems.

Post-traumatic stress disorder isn't unusual for children of sexual abuse but not every child develops it, Fischer said.

“They have experienced a trauma, not unlike what a soldier or an adult experiences,” Fischer said. “They will have flashbacks, be vigilant about their surroundings, experience sleeplessness and have aggressive behavior.”

Many children also will have inappropriate behavior toward others because they will equate sexual acts with liking someone, Fischer said.

Fischer recommends therapy for the children and their parents. It could help prevent future abuse and the sooner they get help after the event will make for a better recovery, she said.

Adam will likely be in therapy for a long time, Jane said. He continues to act out, throwing temper tantrums that can last hours. His 4-year old brother is frightened of him.

Jane said she can't let Adam be around other children without supervision because he has inappropriate or sexualized behavior toward them.

“We're exhausted all the time,” Jane said. “Our hearts ache every day for him, but we still have our baby. He's alive and with us.”

Preventing child sexual assault

• Don't be afraid to talk about sexual abuse.

• Teach kids the proper names of private parts, which will help avoid any confusion when a child reports something that happened.

• Teach what kind of touches are OK and not OK.

• Tell them it's all right to say “No” and “Get away.”

• Teach them that the mouth is also a private area or part.

• Trust your instincts and be suspicious if someone wants to spend excessive time with your child.

Source: National Child Traumatic Stress Network