Decoupling: Traditional households on the decline in Iowa

Marika Larson is getting married next week, which puts her a bit out of step, demographically.

“We're kind of on the opposite side,” said Larson. “I don't know that (friends) look it as funny, but it's the opposite.”

Larson and fiance Andrew Daniels, who will be married next weekend, are indeed on the opposite end of one trend: For the first time, fewer than half of American households in 2010 were of the traditional “husband-wife family,” according to census data released last week.

In Iowa, traditional family households remain the majority, at 52.1 percent, down from 55.1 a decade ago.

“We don't have those big metropolises that tend to have a high percentage of individuals who are either cohabiting or living alone,” said Anthony Paik, associate professor of sociology at the University of Iowa.

That pattern is evident in Eastern Iowa, where fewer than half the households in Linn and Johnson counties, but most of those in the more rural counties, are headed by married couples.

The U.S. Census Bureau doesn't count same-sex marriages, even in states such as Iowa that issue marriage certificates to same-sex couples.

Factors beyond the simple increase in couples living together contributed to the decline in traditional households.

“Young people delaying getting married, increased cohabitation,” said Susan Stewart, associate professor of sociology at Iowa State University. “We have an aging population, and as the population ages more and more women are living alone - they have longer life spans than their male counterparts. There's no sign that any of those trends are going to reverse themselves.”

“On the front end, there's a large proportion of American households that have never-married couples,” said Paik. “On the back end, marriages tend to be shorter than they used to be.”

“It's a case-by-case situation and it's a personal choice,” said Brandi Mueller. “People are getting married older. They're waiting ‘til they're older to get married - and I'd like to say wiser.”

Mueller, 35, of Cedar Rapids, married Chris Mueller, 38, in April. It's the second marriage for both.

The average age of first marriage is now 26 for women and 28 for men, up from 25 and 26 in 2000, Paik said.

“Cohabitation is becoming much more the modal process for getting married,” he said. “There's lot of individuals who do cohabit but aren't getting married, but living together may be a precursor for marriage.”

Larson and Daniels, both 24, moved in together in Marion in January. Daniels, a Wisconsin native, moved to the area first to take a project manager's job with Miron Construction. Larson followed after being hired as a wellness coordinator for Hiawatha-based Health Solutions.

“It just made sense not to have two rent bills for the last six months of the engagement,” Larson said. “Both Andrew and I are pretty traditional. Even when we first started dating, we always said we would never live together before we got married. It's just kind of how our lives played out. It was a huge deal for us when I moved down here in January to live together.”

In the big picture, marriage tends to mirror the economy.

“Marriages tend to be associated with higher education, higher income,” said Paik. “The economic benefits aren't as powerful if the economic benefits are low.”

“When people don't feel financially secure, they can't afford a wedding,” said Stewart. “People are sort of in a holding pattern. Young adults are having to pay for their wedding themselves more so than in the past, because they're older.”

Stewart noted divorce rates also drop during hard times as fewer people can afford legal costs and the expense of setting up a second household.

Both Mueller and Larson have cohabiting friends.

“It's not an issue, it's just what our choice was,” said Mueller. “We got married because we love each other and wanted to spend our lives together.”

“Aside from the tradition, the marriage makes it more of a commitment,” said Larson. “I just think it's more normal, honestly to live together.”

“Americans are adopting a more progressive, casual, however you want to say that, understanding of what is a family,” said Stewart. “A cohabiting couple can be a family, or a single mom and her child, that's a family. We are changing our attitudes to reflect these changes.”