Cedar Rapids native’s memoir tells of female soldier’s reality

Author and veteran Miyoko Hikiji knew she had a story to tell. After enlisting in the Iowa Army National Guard while attending Iowa State University, she was deployed with the 2133rd Transportation Company during Operation Iraqi Freedom in 2003. The Cedar Rapids native's time in Kuwait, then Iraq, “became the cornerstone experience of my life whether I wanted it to be or not. It changed so much,” Hikiji says.

“It was a story that was burning in me. But there were a lot of things I didn't want to go back to,” she says.

Hikiji decided to share her story, though, for herself and for other veterans.

The result is “All I Could Be: My Story as a Woman Warrior in Iraq,” recently published by History Publishing Co.

“It's a story of my personal growth. … There's a little bit of empowerment there, there's a struggle against authority, the humanism of how you meet other people in the world and recognize that most people, even people in Iraq, have more in common with you than differences. … And it's certainly a love story.” The book details Hikiji's relationship with another soldier, a man she calls Jon.

The book also explores difficult topics, such as what serving in the military is like for women.

“We struggle in America with the macho culture. We do have the GI Joe/Rambo ideal. When a man goes into the military, he becomes a super man: it elevates everything masculine and everything that's good about men. And when a woman goes into the military, it's sort of the opposite. She has to leave behind everything that makes her a great woman in order to be taken seriously as a great soldier. And that makes no sense.”

The process of shifting mindsets on this issue “is really, really slow.”

“From 1995 to what I see in the service now, I really can't say that I see a lot that's changed. ... The thing that made the military commanders some forward and make that move in the spring about getting rid of combat exclusions was the fact that so many male commanders have now served with women in the Middle East: 285,000 women have been deployed to the Middle East. And (these male commanders) had to say ‘(women) really didn't do any worse of a job. In fact, a lot of them did better than the guys.' That was an important step.”

While Hikiji returned to Iowa - she now lives in Des Moines - after her service, she says, “you never really come home. You never go back to who it was that you were. ... There is always a part of you that you leave there. And that's why there's almost a desire to go back. I mean there is for me all the time…because you think you're going to find something there ... When you're back in that environment you feel like you can do something different or relive it or do it better this time. There's a lot of survivor guilt.”

Hikiji knows that one way she can continue to honor the brave men and women she served with is to tell her story. And She encourages other veterans to do the same tell their stories, too.

“A lot of people when they talk to me, they say they have a story to tell. And I believe that. So I do encourage people … to (tell) their story through what they do in their life, whatever their job is. Because that's the most valuable gift you can give someone else: your true authentic self.”

READING

• What: Miyoko Hikiji will read, give a short presentation and sign books
• When: 10 a.m. Saturday
• Where: Cedar Rapids Public Library, 450 Fifth Ave. SE, Cedar Rapids
• Cost: Free