Social media etiquette 101

As a plugged-in society constantly connected, taking a moment to assess our online behaviors is a great reminder that who we are online can represent who we are offline. But to keep this column in fact, a column, I will limit myself to the most important social media advice essentials and blunders. I am merely touching the tip of the modern manners vs. technology iceberg.

When it comes to big announcements and milestones, don't share someone else's news about an engagement, pregnancy, new job or birth of a baby without their permission. You may know something exciting or personal but until it is public knowledge - don't address it in the realm of social media. On the heavier flip side, don't discuss an illness, tragedy or death via social media if it isn't your story to tell. Call, send a private message or email instead. Recently my sister had her first baby and after she sent a private photo to a distant family member, before she could share the news herself, the photo appeared on Facebook without her blessing. Put yourself in someone else's shoes before letting the cat out of the social media bag.

To accept or reject a friend request, that is the question. Main rule of thumb: Do whatever makes you feel most comfortable. If you don't want to accept requests from co-workers, follow your personal preference. If you have to add professional contacts, adjust your privacy settings so they don't have full access to your profile. You are not required to add your co-workers or boss to your personal accounts.

On the topic of work, in the case of a bad day at the office - which we all experience - resist the temptation of venting online about your difficult boss, challenging co-worker or tough assignment. Many people have lost jobs, clients and risked professional reputations due to public statements on social media.

Socially, party photos carry two warnings: If someone is clearly intoxicated, whether that is you or your friends, don't post the photo. Trust me, it will be a future regret. Also, if you're invited to a private event or party and others were not, assess the potential of hurting someone's feelings should they see the post. Think twice and do a gut check anytime you post a photo or comment online. Experts say it takes a lifetime to build a reputation and only a moment to ruin it. With social media, that statement has never been truer. Human resources professionals and recruiters often look at a candidate's social media presence in the hiring process. Put your best self out there and clean up your LinkedIn, Facebook and other platforms on a regular basis, especially when looking for a job. And use privacy settings to your benefit.

Our mothers always told us if we don't have anything nice to say, we shouldn't say anything at all. The same holds true on the Internet. If you wouldn't say it to someone's face, don't hide behind the cloak of technology and say it online. There is no excuse for online bullying. Ever.

One of my personal mantras: When in doubt, don't. What you share online lives forever. People can screen-capture a status update or image before you delete it. Many years ago on the first day of my first job, my boss told me, 'Don't ever put in writing something you wouldn't mind seeing on the front page of the New York Times.” Since that day, I have carried that mind-set with me both personally and professionally.

May we always be our best selves, both online and off.

' Lauren M.G. Burt is a communications professional and etiquette adviser based in the Midwest. She believes in the importance of embracing etiquette and a return to civility. Contact her with questions or comments at features@sourcemedia.net.