Modern Manners: Words carry power even in an age of email

These days it is hard to imagine life or work before emails, text messages or even fax machines. I recently had a conversation with older colleagues about the days of 'While You Were Out” slips and endless rounds of phone-tag. I won't even mention pay phones.

While technology has drastically improved the way people live and conduct business, somehow with our multiple forms of instant communication, we're losing our communication aptitude. Our ability to communicate with tact, a sense of purpose and empathy seems to be as fleeting as the next text message.

A good friend stopped me the other day to declare her frustration with something she keeps hearing; from her teenage daughter to co-workers. When she thanks someone with a simple, 'thank you,” the go-to response she continues to receive is, 'No problem.”

Actually, there is a problem with 'no problem.” The response has a negative infliction. When used, it is implying that someone was put out by the other person's actions or words. Even in 2015, the best response still remains, 'You are welcome.” The same applies when given a compliment. Receiving a compliment is just as important as giving one. Do so graciously.

Last week we moved to a new home. After hours of packing and sifting through the millions of things that seem to appear once you have to move, the only items that stopped me in my tracks were old letters from my grandfather and notes from friends. Those simple little pieces of paper are priceless and something I will cherish forever. I can't say the same about an email or text message. Regardless of time, place or the medium carrying the message, words still have immense power. Beware of ending an email to your boss with a smiley face. If you are texting with a possible love interest, full words have more impact than an abbreviation like, 'C U L8R.” I often tell my single girlfriends that if a man asks them out for the first time via text message, they should run.

As of late, I fear that our words - words that mean so much - are getting lost somewhere in the land of status updates and brightly colored emoticons. There is a reason one person lands a job after sending a handwritten note over the candidate that just sends an email. Those small but important gestures make a difference.

So what is the problem? Is it smartphones? Do we blame the generation of Millennials? Or, the people that raised them? Maybe the art of conversation is becoming a lost art. Maybe it is all of the above. Or perhaps a natural progression of change.

Whatever the cause, if we can lead by example, we can learn by example. Watch and listen to those that communicate well and genuinely. If someone makes you feel important and appreciated, mimic those words and actions. Conduct more face-to-face meetings. Pick up the phone over sending a text message. Call your mother. Send your best friend birthday flowers. When someone goes above-and-beyond and out of the ordinary for you, do the same for someone else and pay it forward. You will create a sense of impact with a gesture that isn't easily forgotten. Or erased like an email.

' Lauren M.G. Burt is a communications professional and etiquette adviser based in the Midwest. She believes in the importance of embracing etiquette and a return to civility. Contact her with questions or comments at features@sourcemedia.net.