Modern Manners: Tips for saying ‘I do’ during busy wedding season

The moment you RSVP to a wedding is the moment you say 'I do' to sharing one of the most important days in a couple's life together. A wedding day is a celebration of the happy couple and meant to be shared with the people they care about most. With wedding season quickly approaching, take a few minutes to prepare to be the best guest of the season.

Yes or no?

If you have the honor of being invited to a wedding, treat it just as that — with the honor and respect it deserves. You need to RSVP as soon as possible so the couple doesn't stress over headcount at the dinner table. Do not assume that you can bring a date or children unless the invite explicitly states, 'and Guest' or 'family friendly.' It is a couple's decision who to invite and you should not ask to bring someone or children if the invite says otherwise.

Dress Code

First rule of thumb, never wear white. While the all-white wedding is trendy right now, unless the invite states 'all white attire,' refrain from wearing the color as a guest. Second rule, dress tastefully and pay attention to the dress code on the invite. Most invites will state the dress code with examples including black tie, semi-formal, backyard lawn party or beach chic. Avoid flashy, over-the-top attire. Don't try to stand out more than the wedding party or bride. The time of year and venue are also indicators of what to wear. Weddings held later in the day and evening are always more formal. It is always wise to leave the jeans at home and wear a jacket or dress. When in doubt, it is acceptable to ask the couple what they have in mind. Err on the side of formality in respect to the occasion.

Be a Giver

Always plan on sending a wedding gift if you are invited. Even if you cannot attend, it is a best practice to send something. Preferably before the wedding takes place. At the very least, send a card before the ceremony. You have up to a year from the wedding date to send a gift. As a gauge on how much to spend, many abide by spending the cost of the dinner and drinks that evening. If you are close to the couple, you may spend more. Most couples prefer that gifts be sent rather than dropped at the reception as that can create a security and space issue. Guests are encouraged to use a gift registry, but it is acceptable to stray if the items are all completed or you have a personal gift in mind for the couple.

Phones Prohibited

During the ceremony you should be present and not taking photo after photo. Also, many wedding guests have ruined the photos taken by the hired photographer due to the guests' phones being in the way, especially during the ceremony. You were invited to take part in a very special day so please don't spend it on your phone. For bridal party friends, keep in mind that a bride will not be pleased to see that her dress was on Facebook before she walks down the aisle.

Let Them Eat Cake

Timeliness is important in life and a wedding is not an event to arrive fashionably late. When accepting an invitation, know that you must attend the ceremony if you'd like to attend the reception. It is in poor taste to miss the important part and then partake in the food and libations. A guest should not leave the reception until the cake is cut. The cutting of the cake usually signifies that a party-like atmosphere will begin and the dance floor will open up.

• Lauren M.G. Burt is a communications professional and etiquette advisor based in the Midwest. She believes in the importance of embracing etiquette and a return to civility. Contact her with questions or comments at features@sourcemedia.net.