Modern Manners: Getting back to the table

What does every person do at least three times a day to sustain themselves? Yes, the question may be answered differently depending on who you ask, but the answer is: Eat. Regardless of age, occupation, lifestyle or social status; everyone must eat. And when we do, what is the experience and how are we conducting ourselves?

It has been said that 'one should never eat alone.” Sharing a meal enables people to engage in conversation, create fellowship and practice the art of dining. A shared meal can bring together strangers, build professional opportunities and strengthen family bonds.

Experts say that families are dining together less and less, especially at dinnertime. And when they do, kids are on iPads and adults are on their phones. It saddens me when I see couples out on a date and they are both staring into glowing screens, not at each other. I am also pained when I see groups of people not talking to each other and everyone is glued to their phone. I've heard restaurant employees complain about people taking more time to photograph the food instead of actually enjoying it.

All meals should be a positive pause in the day. Really, who doesn't love eating? Dinner especially as it serves as a unique moment that should be reserved as a time to unwind and allow the day to process. Dining with others is one of the most enjoyable and oldest pastimes. I am in full support of the resurgence of dinner parties. Great friendships, business deals and love connections have begun by breaking bread.

Throughout my career, I've heard many hiring managers and executives say they won't hire a candidate without a lunch or dinner interview. And when teams are trying to build rapport with clients or colleagues, the first go-to is always a socializing occasion built around dining and drinking. The key to professional meals is to consume more of the food than alcohol. Following the lead of the host or boss is important, but don't drown in the cocktails.

For those that struggle with children and technology at mealtime, going cold turkey may work but you will probably have more luck gradually getting kids off the devices. Start with boycotting electronics during one part of the meal. Then allow devices only as a reward for good dining behavior. If children don't learn table manners at a young age, especially at home, they will have a disadvantage in life. They may not get the job during a lunch interview or they may offend while dining with their future in-laws.

As for adults, you are always the non-verbal example so be aware of how you're dining and if you're using devices while doing so. Children are always paying attention and taking cues from you, so model the way. Knowing how to conduct oneself at the table creates confidence and makes others feel comfortable. I think more meals should happen with others and less with our devices as dining partners. One does not need to be a chef, pay for expensive dinners or prepare a gourmet meal. Dining runs the gamut of a casual potluck to a six-course meal. For those who decide to host a dinner party, endless hours spent browsing Pinterest will no longer be in vain. A shared meal can be simple or sophisticated. Simply bringing people together at the table is a daily celebration of the day that should be, celebrated. Just remember to put your napkin on your lap. And pass the salt with the pepper.

' Lauren M.G. Burt is a communications professional and etiquette adviser based in the Midwest. She believes in the importance of embracing etiquette and a return to civility. Contact her with questions or comments at features@sourcemedia.net.