DIVERSITY

New York Times bestselling author Janet Mock is many things. She is a young person, a woman, a person of color and a trans woman.

Mock can't neatly fit her identity into one compartment. She's not alone.

Mock, an advocate and author, spoke June 5 at Rockwell Collins as part of a presentation organized by Rockwell's Pride Employee Resource group. Her book, 'Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More,” highlights her journey coming out as a trans woman.

Mock began her presentation by reading passages from her book. She recalled a childhood memory when as a boy, she put on a dress that had been hanging out to dry. She was reprimanded for her actions by her grandmother and laughed at by her sister, she says.

When it comes to identity, people have a rigid belief system, says Mock, a native of Honolulu, Hawaii. She was scolded as a child for not fitting into any singular definition, she says.

People should have the freedom to proclaim who they are, Mock says.

The author recalled her obsession with musician Janet Jackson and Jackson's album, 'The Velvet Rope.” Friends took to calling Mock, 'Baby Janet.” Soon, she would only answer to Janet.

'There is power in naming yourself and declaring it to the world,” Mock says.

The first step is being comfortable with your identity, she says.

She also told the audience it is important not to use the former name of a transgendered person when talking to them or addressing them. Doing so can trigger painful, negative memories, she says.

Instead, when approaching someone, it is a good idea to introduce yourself and share what pronouns you identify with. Doing so takes the burden off the trans person, Mock says.

Mock also recognized the importance of creating a safe place for people to talk about their identity and get support from one another. She created the Twitter hashtag #GirlsLikeUs to give people a place to ask questions, share stories and make friends. An online community can be sometimes be the only safe place for such a conversation, Mock says.

While there is an existing community for transgendered people in big cities, like San Francisco, New York City and Los Angeles, people in rural communities may not have such a network.

'I think that we live in a culture where it's very unsafe for trans women specifically to be out, or to even exist in the daytime,” she says. 'Most trans women are often targeted in the streets or told that they are not real or told not to exist in these spaces so oftentimes the Internet becomes the only space (for them).”

People should talk more about self-definition. She also advocates for the creation of more safe spaces to have these conversations.

It is critical for people to challenge the culture which punishes people for coming out, she says. Many parents make their children coming out about them, she says.

'That's why I often tell parents, you need to take yourself out of it,” she says. 'When your child comes to you with their own sense of revelations and trying to figure out who they are and coming to you, they're coming to you because they need love. They need affirmation. They need someone to listen and to help.”