Couple donates embryos to another infertile couple in need

Lydia Fine knew she always wanted to have children.

But when she and her husband, Nathan Timmel, started trying when they were 30 and 40 respectively, they weren't having much luck.

They tried everything - different methods, medications, you name it - but nothing worked.

Well-meaning friends and family would say things like 'maybe if you tried (insert suggestion here),” but the innocent advice stung. Infertility is emotionally exhausting. They felt they'd already tried everything, and the suggestions felt more like mockery. Still, through gritted teeth, they'd smile and say thanks.

After several months of failed attempts, they turned to intrauterine insemination - or as Timmel put it, the 'turkey baster method” - paired with ovarian stimulation. She'd receive an injection to stimulate production of eggs and be artificially inseminated with her husbands sperm.

Still, nothing.

They were tired, frustrated, emotionally and physically drained.

And they aren't alone.

One in eight couples have trouble getting pregnant or sustaining a pregnancy, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. 'It's everywhere,” Fine said of infertility. 'It's a wonder pregnancy happens naturally.”

Even with a normally functioning reproductive system, couples ages 29 to 33 only have a 20 percent to 25 percent chance of conceiving in any given month, according to the National Women's Health Resource Center. After six months of trying, 60 percent will conceive without medical assistance.

Approximately 85 percent to 90 percent of infertility cases are treated with drug therapy or surgical procedures, according to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. Fewer than three percent need advanced reproductive technologies such as in vitro fertilization.

With everything in their arsenal depleted, Fine and Timmel turned to IVF. Thanks to Fine's insurance, they paid a mere $3,000 compared to the national average of $12,000 for treatments.

First, Fine had to suppress her natural ovulation cycle through a series of injections. Then, more injections to boost egg production, followed by yet another injection, this time hormones to help eggs mature before being collected.

Doctors were able to pull 20 mature eggs from Fine's ovaries, 14 of which looked good. Meanwhile, from a cup of Timmel's sperm, doctors 'spun off the bad swimmers,” Fine said.

'All that's left are the Michael Phelps',” she joked.

The eggs and sperm are combined in a petri dish, where they're cultured until eggs are fertilized and incubated for up to six days. The successfully fertilized eggs - 11 of 14 for Fine - would be transferred into the uterus, or frozen for later use.

Fine had seven cultured and four frozen eggs to work with, but didn't want to risk being an 'octomom,” so they planned to transfer only one at a time.

Their first transfer produced a negative result - another heartbreak for Fine. But she still had hope, and additional frozen embryos.

They tried again, and this time, the pregnancy test came back positive.

In August 2012, after two years of trying, Fine had her first baby girl, Hillary.

Two years later, and her son, Truman, was born from another frozen embryo.

The couple had three frozen embryos remaining and, with no plans to have more children, had to decide what to do with them. They could throw them away, donate them to stem cell research or donate to another couple in need.

For Fine and Timmel, the decision, although emotionally complex, was not difficult.

'I have three baby starter kits, why not give them to someone who needs them?” Fine said. 'It seemed like the right thing to do.”

They connected with a small embryo donation agency called Blessedwithinfertility where they were matched with other couples looking to adopt.

After a series of questionable matches - Fine said it 'felt like bad online dating” - they were connected with the Jerles.

Everything clicked.

Lauren and Jesse Jerle had been trying to conceive for four years. Similar to Fine and Timmel, they'd tried various treatments without success. They were told trying to conceive naturally essentially was impossible for them.

'It was absolutely so draining on us emotionally and physically, and it was hard on us as a couple,” she said.

After a long emotional roller coaster and a lot of money spent on failed treatments, Lauren decided it was time to find another option. An Internet search brought her to embryo adoption - a much more affordable route than IVF. They reached out to Blessedwithinfertility and quickly were connected with Fine and Timmel.

From there, 'things snowballed,” Lauren said. 'It was an instant connection ... so meant to be.”

'They were funny, laid back and cool ... they were our kind of people,” Fine agreed.

The day before Thanksgiving last year, the Jerles found out they'd be able to adopt Fine's extra embryos.

'We were so used to everything not working in our favor,” Lauren said. 'To have something seem so easy was a relief.”

After completing a series of expensive evaluations, including genetic and psychological testing, as well as agreeing to legal terms, the Jerles were ready to make the transfer in October.

As donors, Fine and Timmel weren't expected to pay for anything. The Jerles covered the medical expenses and legal fees for the two couples.

The Jerles have spent nearly $15,000 on their infertility treatments and preparation for embryo adoption, and each time they transfer an embryo, it's an additional $4,000.

'Ultimately, our desire for pregnancy far outweighed the money in our bank account,” Lauren said. 'We just wanted to be parents.”

They could have spent several thousand more dollars to go through IVF to use their own egg and sperm, but they felt embryo adoption would be a safer, more successful option.

'We felt like the chances were more sure if we went that route instead of spending thousands more,” Lauren explained. 'And you can love a child without it being connected genetically to you.”

Two months ago, they transferred their first egg.

Everything was going smoothly, until a few days ago. Lauren was eight weeks along when they found out they lost the pregnancy.

'We heard a flickering heart beat twice. It gave us so much hope we'd have a baby,” Lauren said, devastated. 'But we're still so hopeful. We have two more embryos, so we'll try again when we can.'

According to the CDC, Lauren has a 45 percent chance of getting pregnant and a 36 percent chance of a live birth per embryo transfer. But the Advanced Fertility Center of Chicago says success rates vary. Lauren's doctor told her she has a 62 percent chance of pregnancy and a 48 percent chance of ilve birth.

Regardless of statistics, Lauren is confident and, above all, hopeful.

'We still truly believe we're going to be parents and these embryos are going to work,” she said.

'It's been a crappy few days, but going through a situation like this either makes or breaks you. So far, it's shaped us into resilient people with a dream. We're fighters, and we're not going to let bad luck hold us down.”

For more on Fine's journey with infertility, check out her blog at www.peanutmom.com.