Country’s ideologies need a thorough divorce

Liberals, social progressives, Marxists, leftists, socialists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the 1950s but the whole of this latest election and the aftermath has brought me to the realization that I want a divorce.

Our two ideological sides of this nation cannot and will not ever agree on what is proper, so may we end it on friendly terms?

Our elected representatives can divide the assets since both sides have such disparate tastes.

My side doesn't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them. You are also welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. We'll take capitalism, corporations, pharmaceutical companies and Wal-Mart. You can keep your homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the Alaskan hockey moms, CEOs and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

You can make nicey nice with Iran and Palestine, and we'll retain the shock and awe for places that threaten us.

You can have the Yugos and we'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and luxury cars. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are most welcome to Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. since we will no longer by paying the bill.

We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can give trickle-up poverty your best shot.

If you agree to be bound by the terms, please pass them along to your liberal and conservative friends.

Orland Ronald Fish

Shellsburg