A likely scenario under firewood labeling rules?

Dad and his family have gone off to bed after a lovely night together by the fireplace where dying embers now cast a dark orange tint over the quiet room. Suddenly, the house is flooded with unbearably bright light; loudspeakers deliver the earsplitting announcement that an Iowa Department of Natural Resources SWAT team is on the scene and the unlocked front door is reduced to kindling by the onslaught of a battering ram. Twelve masked SWAT members swarm into the house and subdue the frightened family.

Why the raid? Dastardly Dad sold unlabeled firewood to an undercover DNR tree-hugger. He failed to label his firewood as “firewood”, list “God” as the “manufacturer,” or state the price and where it was harvested. Also, he demonstrated intent to sell and did not have a Firewood Stamp.

Could get as much as 20 years.

I laughed so hard at the futility of bureaucratic bumbling such as detailed in the Jan. 29 Gazette firewood labeling piece that eating breakfast became a chore. Then the above scenario came to mind and I had to share it.

Bit far-fetched? Not very far.

Willard Salemink

West Branch