Iowa, Tight End U? It’s like the World’s Largest Truck Stop of college football

This isn’t for shock value, clickbait, trolling, or good old-fashioned antisocial behavior.

Nay, it’s one of my core values, something I carry with conviction. Namely:

I wouldn’t want to be Tight End U.

The Iowa football program and many of its fans have embraced that title. Hey, you sell what you’ve got, not what you wish you had. Cedar Rapids touts the world’s largest cereal mill. Strawberry Point has the World’s Largest Strawberry. Walcott promotes its World’s Largest Truck Stop.

Each would probably prefer to have the Eiffel Tower. As Steven Wright said, you can’t have everything. Where would you put it?

You’d be clinically cuckoo to deny the extraordinary things Hawkeye tight ends have done at Iowa and the NFL over the last several years. But when has anyone ever prepared snacks at noon on an NFL Sunday and thought “Now it’s time to watch tight ends!”

Other than Taylor Swift, that is. Though it’s doubtful she prepares her own beer cheese dip.

No, we want to see elite playmakers make throws, catches and runs that defy gravity and reason. We want Patrick Mahomes. We want Jalen Hurts and Justin Jefferson and Christian McCaffrey.

If an NFL franchise ever calls itself “Team Tight End,” it’s looking at a 2-15 season with its fans fighting each other in the stands just to justify their drunken presence.

Yes, Iowa is Tight End U. Its two top pass-catchers this season are tight ends Erick All and Luke Lachey, and Lachey played in just the first three games.

Hawkeye tight ends have 36 receptions to their wide receivers’ 20. Tight end Sam LaPorta had 58 catches last season, more than any two Iowa wide receivers combined. Lachey had four of his team’s seven 2022 touchdown grabs.

Present and past Hawkeye tight ends — and I can’t emphasize this enough — have been incredible. But how about one David Bell or Garrett Wilson at Iowa per decade?

Former Hawkeye Ihmir Smith-Marsette caught two touchdown passes for the Minnesota Vikings in the 2021 season. He was the first ex-Hawkeye wide receiver with an NFL scoring catch since Tim Dwight in 2007.

Smith-Marsette is the only Iowa guy playing WR in the NFL. Running backs? Iowa has none on an active roster. The only Hawkeye quarterback in the league is Jacksonville backup C.J. Beathard.

Tight ends? OMG.

T.J. Hockenson of Minnesota leads the NFL in catches by a tight end, with 30. Rookie of the Year candidate LaPorta of Detroit leads the NFL in receiving yards by a tight end, with 289. Noah Fant of Seattle leads the NFL in yards per catch by a tight end, with 16.0. Former Hawkeyes, all.

Then there’s George Kittle of San Francisco, who had three touchdown catches against the Dallas Cowboys Sunday and has 5,469 yards and 34 TDs in his 7-year career.

Kittle has 10 TDs in his last 10 regular-season games, all wins. The player who threw him all 10? Brock Purdy, former Iowa State Cyclone.

Sunday, ex-Iowa State running back Breece Hall of the New York Jets rushed for 177 yards and a TD at Denver, and former Cyclone David Montgomery rushed for 109 yards and a score for Detroit against Carolina.

Hall is sixth in NFL rushing, 11 months after tearing an ACL. Montgomery is seventh despite missing the Lions’ third game with an injured thigh. He is second in the NFL in rushing touchdowns with six.

But the biggest story is Purdy. He leads the league in quarterback rating, is second in completion percentage (72.1 percent) and yards per pass attempt (9.4). He hasn’t thrown an interception in his 136 attempts. His team is 5-0.

Purdy was drafted 262nd in 2022, and Kittle was the 146th pick in 2017. Yet, NFL draft days are religious holidays to football folk.

Kittle is a Hawkeye who, personality-wise, isn’t one. He screams with glee when he scores, stomping around and spiking the ball with ferocity. How can you not like his love for life and laughter and performance? He’ll be a national figure long after his football days end.

With Swift cheering him on and Mahomes getting him the ball, Kelce is a king. But Kittle, as Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson knowingly declared in 2019, is the People’s Tight End.

Comments: (319) 398-8440; mike.hlas@thegazette.com