For a change, Rose Bowl shouldn’t feel like a beautiful haunted house for Hawkeyes

This isn’t a Rose Bowl, it’s just at the Rose Bowl.

The concept of Iowa playing a Friday night regular-season Big Ten football game at UCLA in Pasadena’s picturesque paean to the pigskin certainly is unusual.

I’ve said it forever to people in my business who haven’t covered a Rose Bowl: It’s the only bowl game. I don’t care if the Hawkeyes have made six appearances in the game formerly known as the Outback Bowl, Tampa doesn’t have a bowl game.

Neither does Nashville or Jacksonville or the South Bronx. Pasadena has the bowl game.

That said, the term “Rose Bowl” is a lot more triggering to longtime Hawkeye fans than, say, “Cheez-It Citrus Bowl.” The combined scores of Iowa’s last four Rose Bowls — all losses to close the 1981, 1985, 1990 and 2015 seasons — was Pac-12 teams 164, Iowa 78. None were close.

The last laugh goes to Iowa, because huge chunks of the Pac-12 fell off the coast last year as if the San Andreas Fault had gotten very cranky. The next version of the Pac-12 will look more like the old Western Athletic Conference, which Iowa got to know well in its multiple Holiday Bowl visits to San Diego that were far more hospitable to the Hawkeyes.

There should be no Rose Bowl migraines for Iowa Friday night in Pasadena because this isn’t a Rose Bowl. There’s no Christian McCaffrey to amass 368 all-purpose yards the way that fellow did against Iowa nine seasons ago when his Stanford team pounded the Hawkeyes, 45-16.

There’s no Stanford Band, either, bless its mocking heart.

Another last laugh goes to Iowa. Stanford was left behind when southern California brothers UCLA and USC jumped to the Big Ten and were quickly followed by Oregon and Washington. Stanford took the best of the lousy life rafts left on the boat, joining neighbor Cal in the (say what?) Atlantic Coast Conference.

Stanford, by the way, is 11-34 since the start of the 2021 season. It lost 59-28 at North Carolina State last Saturday in an (say what?) ACC game.

UCLA 2024 won’t remind any old-timers of the Bruins team that danced to a 45-28 win over Iowa in the 1986 Rose Bowl, the last time the two schools met.

Freshman Eric Ball rushed for 227 yards that day. The 2024 Bruins are averaging less than one-third of that much rushing yardage per game.

UCLA has won its last two games, road triumphs over Rutgers and Nebraska. So it has a pulse. If Iowa’s defense is a reasonable facsimile of the one that showed up against Northwestern and Wisconsin the last two weeks, however, UCLA’s one-dimensional offense shouldn’t cut it.

As for the business about traveling two time zones to the west and getting acclimated to California living, that’s usually about as troublesome as the opponent you’re facing.

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Sure, it’s tough to fly to Oregon and win. But Indiana and Minnesota left Pasadena with victories over the Bruins this season.

Friday night in the 102-year-old Rose Bowl will feel far different than those last four appearances by Iowa teams of the past. The crowd for that Stanford game on New Year’s Day 2016 was 94,268.

UCLA has typically used massive tarps at the Rose Bowl to cover large portions of each end zone area of the stands. Colorado was a big draw there last year, so the tarps were removed for a game and a sellout crowd of 67,066 was on hand.

None of UCLA’s three home games this season has had 50,000 fans, and one of those was against Oregon. Will Friday night be Kinnick Way, Way West?

So, there are no Rose Bowl ghosts Friday night. There is no Rose Bowl game-quality opponent, no Rose Parade, and unfortunately, no holiday break in freeway traffic to help wary strangers from Iowa navigate a car to Pasadena with less freeway stress.

This isn’t a Rose Bowl game with a shot at national glory and permanent residence in Hawkeye lore. It’s a Big Ten game to win to avoid sliding into the Duke’s Mayo Bowl level of the postseason.

If you’re Iowa, you give Kaleb Johnson the ball 20 times, do what you typically do defensively against a team ranking 124th in the nation in total offense and 126th in scoring, and take that long ride home with a win.

Don’t overthink this game. It’s not like it’s a Rose Bowl.

Comments: (319) 398-8440; mike.hlas@thegazette.com