Dog-lover Hlastradamus is riding with underdog Hawkeyes and Cyclones

Hlastradamus wants to use this week’s picks to pay honor to Major League Baseball’s single-season and career home run king, Barry Bonds.

That guy could hit. Eat some Wheaties, Aaron Judge, and maybe some season you’ll hit 73 homers.

Now where was the prophet? Ah yes. Selecting college football winners.

Well, this week is easy enough for the sage. He’ll pander to the masses, pick the local teams, and go back to his primary occupation right now, serving as divorce attorney for Gisele Bündchen.

Let us proceed:

Iowa +3.5 at Illinois

Hlastradamus knows Illinois won 34-10 at Wisconsin last week and got Paul Chryst fired as coach. But he won’t believe the Illini are 3.5 points better than the Hawkeyes until he sees it.

Wisconsin imploded. Iowa isn’t imploding. It isn’t exploding, either, but it can get enough points to stay within a field goal of Illinois.

Right? Right? Right?

Iowa State +2 vs. Kansas State

K-State is living large after beating Oklahoma and Texas Tech the last two weeks. Iowa State is living not so large after losses to Baylor and Kansas.

But this is the Big 12, where you ride the painted pony and let the spinning wheel spin. Up is quickly down in that league, and vice versa.

The Cyclones haven’t lost three straight games since 2016. They’ve won 11 of their last 12 conference home games. They’ve won their last three games against K-State. They’ve won their last six night games.

Hlastradamus says trends are meant to be bucked, but not when they come in bulk. Actually, he’s never said that. He has used that “painted pony” line many times, though, as an old Blood, Sweat and Tears fan.

Northwestern -10 vs. Wisconsin

Yeah, you’d expect the Badgers to pull together this week after a coaching change and dedicate a win to the guy who just got sent packing (with an $11 million check).

Well, the Badgers may do just that. But cover 10 points against anyone the way they’ve stunk it up in their three games against Power Five teams?

Northwestern has been a bust this season, too, but when lousy meets lousy, go with the lousy side getting 10 points instead of giving it.

Here are some more picks the futurologist is putting out there without explanation, because he needs none:

Kansas +6.5 vs. TCU

Oklahoma +9.5 vs. Texas

UCLA +3.5 vs. Utah

Oklahoma State -9.5 vs. Texas Tech

And now, for something completely different. Thursday night, the Denver Broncos led the Indianapolis Colts 9-6 after three quarters. Five field goals, no touchdowns.

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