Iowa City sober house provides safe living space for those in early recovery

The house looks like any other in the westside neighborhood of Iowa City, but this one is unique because it’s going to provide women in early recovery with a safe, sober environment to continue healing, be accountable and learn healthy habits to sustain sobriety.

Iowa City Sober Living, a nonprofit established in 2021, will open a recovery home for women, off Mormon Trek Boulevard, near the University of Iowa — the first of its kind in Johnson County — next month. Two nurses, Merrilee Ramsey and Sue Gardner, both recovering alcoholics, started the nonprofit because they personally understand that maintaining sobriety isn’t easy and they’ve learned “time and treatment keeps you sober.”

Ramsey, 69, a retired nurse practitioner with Mercy in Cedar Rapids, has been sober for six years. She went through a period of anxiety and depression when social drinking on weekends turned into drinking while her husband went bowling during the week to every day.

Then in 2017 she had been drinking and crashed into a truck and then hit a utility pole in Ely, and ended up in the emergency room at Mercy. She wasn’t seriously injured but it was a wake-up call when her husband picked her from jail, which happened to be their wedding anniversary.

Gardner, 64, a University of Iowa College of Nursing professor, registered nurse, and co-director of Center for Advancing Multimorbidity Science, said she was a “high functioning alcoholic. Her alcohol dependency started later in life — in her 40s — when social drinking turned into every day drinking but ended with her second DUI.

Gardner, who initially was “too proud” to ask for help, said she felt relieved when she met Ramsey because she also was a nurse and she realized the disease doesn’t discriminate according to your socioeconomic status or profession because it can “knock you off your pedestal” at any time.

Both nurses, who didn’t know each other at the time, went through inpatient rehab and treatment at different places, which they had to do if they wanted to keep their nurses’ licenses. Both said later they were thankful for the Iowa Nurse’s Assistant Program for requiring them to get treatment and saving their licenses from disciplinary actions.

Ramsey actually became Gardner’s sponsor before they started the nonprofit. They both experienced not being ready to go back to their daily life and the triggers — stress of work, a relationship or another emotional pain — that led to addiction.

For Gardner, she couldn’t go back to her home because she was going through a divorce, so there were “too many triggers” she wasn’t prepared to face. She needed a “sober house,” which most states now have to help people make the transition from rehab to their pretreatment daily life — responsibilities that can be detrimental to recovery if taken on too soon.

No sober houses existed in Johnson County when Gardner completed her inpatient care four years ago, so she created her own version of a “sober house” with the help of a colleague who offered her a basement in their home. It was an alcohol-free environment where she could work on healthy habits to fight her “compulsion” to drink and be held accountable.

Ramsey pointed out that it doesn’t just take 60 days, which is usually the length of inpatient rehab — to become an alcoholic, so it might take longer than 60 days of treatment and self-care to maintain sobriety. About 80 percent of people relapse within 90 days, she pointed out, so being in a sober house with structure and support for six months or longer has been effective to reduce relapses.

Iowa City sober house

It took three years to set up the nonprofit, do fundraising, search for grants and find a “beautiful” home that the community would support. Ramsey and Gardner said the project has helped them maintain their sobriety and given them an opportunity to give back.

They raised about $150,000, received about $15,000 in grants from various organizations and foundations and individual donations. Also, because they both believe so much in this project, they each contributed about $7,500 of their own money.

A Gazette reporter toured the two-story sober house earlier this week with Ramsey and Gardner. Eight women will be selected to live in the home. They will share the common areas that include a living room, dining room, kitchen, sunroom. Another common area is being renovated as an exercise space.

There are three bedrooms upstairs and two downstairs. The house leader will have the master bedroom and the other women will share rooms with two beds in each. Two of those beds will be reserved for low-income residents based on one of the grants they received.

The house also has a small deck off the back of the house, a large backyard and patio area. There is also a swing set and small play house for any visiting children or grandchildren of the residents.

The nonprofit paid for the new beds and living room sofas but most of the other furniture, which looked relatively new, was donated for the home. When people heard about the project they willingly wanted to help, Ramsey noted. They have several pieces of artwork on the walls and some images of butterflies — which represents the theme of the house — “freedom and transformation.”

Ramsey pointed out that a sober home isn’t a rehabilitation facility, which are typically covered by insurance, so residents are required to pay rent during their stay of up to six months or possibly longer. The rent is less or comparable to rental rates in Iowa City.

All the women residents must have been sober, at least 14 to 30 days before moving in and have already completed inpatient rehab or have been in treatment for about six months. They will not have detox capabilities or other medical care on site.

Ramsey said the women will have to follow house rules such as, absolute abstinence, curfews, house chores and program involvement. Otherwise, the women are free to come and go.

There will be substance abuse testing upon moving in and then random testing during their stays.

Ramsey said a house leader was just hired Tuesday and they have four potential applicants so far, and they haven’t received referrals yet, so they will likely receive many more next month.

An open house will be held Oct. 1, and both Ramsey and Gardner along with the Iowa City Sober Living board of directors will be there to answer questions.

Comments: (319) 398-8318; trish.mehaffey@thegazette.com