A 20-year friendship begins with a kidney donation

It’s immediately clear when meeting Yolanda Frudden and Kathleen Williams that the two are close friends. They lean toward each other like teenagers whispering secrets in a crowded room, Frudden talking cheerfully and Williams with a conspiratorial twinkle in her eyes.

Frudden and Williams have known each other for 20 years. That alone could explain their rapport. But the two have a special connection: as they laugh together, one of Williams’ organs is hard at work inside Frudden.

“At the beginning, when I tell story, I just cry,” Frudden said, her eyes already wet. Beside her on the couch, Williams’ eyes are misty too. “I know that wherever I go, I take her with me because I have her kidney.”

Frudden and Williams officially met in an elevator at the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics in Iowa City. They weren’t complete strangers — they’d say a friendly hello when they passed each other in the halls, but nothing more.

It was a dark day for Frudden. Before her shift began, her doctor told her that her kidneys were barely functioning and her blood was toxic. She was supposed to go directly to the operating room when her shift ended to get a dialysis fistula surgery. Frudden was crying in the elevator when Williams stepped in.

Immediately concerned, Williams asked Frudden what was wrong. The decision was immediate: Frudden said Williams offered her the kidney “right after I opened my mouth.”

“Well, you were so upset,” Williams explained. “And then I found out you had kids. And then I’m like, I gotta do it.”

Frudden didn’t take her up on the offer immediately. Another person at the hospital had promised her a kidney, but used the money Frudden gave her to pay for the hotel near the transplant clinic to go shopping instead. It was Williams who called Frudden a few days later and said she was serious.

“It’s the kind of person Kathy is,” Frudden said. “Kathy is big heart. Once I get to know her, you could never find another person like her.”

On Jan. 17, 2006, the pair were wheeled into surgery at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. They held hands until they departed into separate operating rooms. The doctor told Frudden that Williams’ kidney began working as soon as it was put in her body.

“I always tell Kathy, every time I go pee I think about her,” Frudden said, laughing.

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The experience was meaningful for Williams, too.

“She’s done a lot for me,” Williams said. “She took me to the Philippines. That was awesome because I'd never been out of the United States, and to meet all of her family and friends, it was wonderful.”

The first time Frudden and Williams celebrated the donation, it was the night before their surgery. Both women gathered family members at a nice restaurant, but could only watch as the others ate — they had to fast before the operation.

Now, Williams and Frudden can eat whenever they celebrate. Their five-year anniversaries are lively gatherings that bring the two families together over a good meal. This year’s party took place at Frudden’s cheery Iowa City home. More than a dozen guests gathered to watch football and enjoy the lush spread of pasta salad, cornbread, green beans and prime rib.

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When asked how they might spend their 25- and 30-year transplant anniversaries, the women turned to each other.

“Hopefully we can walk,” Williams said.

“We’re aging,” Frudden agreed, “so hopefully the kidney would still be here.”

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According to the National Kidney Foundation, a transplant from a living donor lasts an average of 15-20 years, while kidneys from deceased donors last closer to eight to 12 years.

Regardless of how long she’ll have it, Frudden is serious about keeping Williams’ donation in good shape.

“I take care of her kidney,” Frudden said. “It’s not something you take for granted.”

Williams still is in good health too, and stands by the quick decision she made years ago.

“[If] other people are questioning whether they should [donate], yeah. It’s a yes. You should,” said Williams. “It changed our world.”

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