Why I advocate for advance health care planning

I have volunteered for Iowa City Hospice in many ways through the years - as a patient volunteer, lecturing for volunteer trainings, and most recently, helping to spread the word about a communitywide advance care planning program called 'Honoring Your Wishes.”

I was a part of a team of volunteers who agreed to make 200 phone calls to help spread the word about the importance of advance care planning - having conversations with families and friends about what is important to you, creating a guide for care if you could not communicate, carefully selecting a person to be your 'voice” in this potential circumstance and completing advance directives.

I shared with other volunteers that meeting with an advance care planning facilitator can bring families together to discuss this huge issue. Sometimes I shared my story - that my husband and I had completed documents to give us peace of mind and to help our children have peace of mind, too. We made our first advance directive a long time ago when we were driving around the country in an RV. If something bad happened, our daughters would know our health care wishes. We named a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care, saw an attorney to be sure all was in order and gave copies to our kids and physician.

I'm a retired registered nurse and saw too many times what happens when a loved one is extremely ill and there are no directives. A family may not know 'what mom wants done.” Before the days of living wills, etc. and no clear orders, we had to do everything to keep someone alive. Now people can state their choices and make legal documents for their family and health care providers to review.

Jeremiah 29, 11-13 reads: 'I know well the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welcome, not for woe! Plans to give you a future full of hope.” These words say what Honoring Your Wishes is all about to me. We know that as we are born, so shall we die. Death is the end of the circle of life. How do we want to be cared for at the end of life?

When my dad was dying, Honoring Your Wishes and Advance Directives were non-existent. There was no hospice care in America yet. I was his primary caregiver. Mother was so sad and distraught that she couldn't provide constant comfort care to him by herself. On the day he died, I called the physician for more pain and anti-nausea meds. He told me to bring dad to the hospital. 'Another round of chemo would give Art more time.” I said 'No. Dad's wish is to die in his own bed with his family by his side.” A few hours later that happened. I was grateful to know Dad's wishes and to help honor them.

During a conversation with an advance care planning facilitator, you can voice what you want your loved ones to know. To learn more about how to schedule an appointment, please go to www.honoringyourwishes.org. Everyone wishes to drink every sip in our cup of life, but we also want to be in control. That, to me, is the best part of Honoring Your Wishes.

' Bobbie Paxton is a Hospice volunteer who has lived in Iowa City since 2008. Comments: alloverrovers@gmail.com