PFLAG encourages love and acceptance

We were pretty sure one of our sons was gay from a fairly early age. He was happy, had lots of friends, was funny and engaging. We asked some friends who were gay how we should approach this and were advised to do nothing until he came out to us. In high school he dated a few women. We never felt he enjoyed those relationships, but felt society’s pressure to act heterosexual.

Our son finally came out to us at age 19. He went to the pastor of the church we attended (we thought it was an accepting congregation) to get some advice and discuss his feelings about being gay. The pastor told him he would burn in hell. Because of this, he thought strongly about suicide. He was terrified we would hate him and boot him out of the house.

When he came out to us, we were horrified about what the pastor said. We immediately left that church but still had some worries about what life would be like for him and if he would be safe. What parent does not want their child to have a happy and secure life. Years later, he explained that our act of choosing him over the church showed him he was loved. We are so proud of the man he has grown into.

We already knew something about GLBT issues but needed to learn a lot more. With the help of some other parents, we restarted PFLAG in Cedar Rapids to educate ourselves and to help provide some support to other families facing some of the same questions. PFLAG is an international organization that started in New York to provide acceptance, support, education and advocacy services for members of the GLBTQIA+ community AND their families. People that are working through issues about gender identity and expression have a lot on their plate and spend significant time doing this. When a family finds out, it can be a big surprise and it can take time for families to process things that their child has been working on for years.

PFLAG will be hosting a free event at the Cedar Rapids downtown library on Oct. 11, 2024 for National Coming Out Day from 5:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. The Eastern Iowa QUIRE will perform and a speaker from Iowa Safe Schools will give a presentation followed by Q&A. Water and some refreshments will be available. We encourage anyone with questions or who just wants to show their support to come out to this event.

Andy and Diane Peterson are board members for PFLAG Cedar Rapids.