Open your minds to LGBTQ people

I grew up in the Linn-Mar School District and the Marion Methodist Church. There was never any mention of sexual orientation and it was always assumed that everyone was straight. When I was growing up I always felt like I was different and didn't fit in, and I didn't understand why.

I started having anxiety and low self esteem, but got no support other than telling me to keep my head down, work harder, and to lean into my Christian faith. I remember trying to figure out how to dress, act and find friends who would help me feel like I was "normal." I felt like I didn't fully form deep relationships because I was so focused on fitting in and gaining others' approval.

As I moved into adulthood, I continued on the path that was expected of me. I moved back home to Cedar Rapids after college to be closer to my parents, got married to a man and had two amazing children. Even with all my "blessings" I continued to struggle with my mental health and feeling like I didn't fit in anywhere. To everyone on the outside, I had an incredible family, friends who cared about me, and a beautiful house. It took me a long time to admit that I needed help through the form of therapy and medication because I had been taught that medication should be avoided at all costs, and that needing help was a sign of weakness.

After finally getting my medications figured out and five years of therapy, the pandemic gave me the first opportunity to slow down and tune into my body, needs, and boundaries. As I came to acknowledge my own queerness, I learned for the first time how to actually honor myself and my own feelings. After leaving my marriage, I realized that I had never truly understood the feeling of butterflies in my stomach and a blush on my cheeks that comes from being attracted to a woman, something I never felt with men. I realized that I can dress for myself, and style my hair the way I want to, rather than the way I saw on Pinterest or Instagram. I realized I could let go of disordered eating habits and rediscover the joy of food all while accepting my body for what it is rather than what it looks like. (I'm still working on that one)

I know my life would be drastically different if LGBTQ people had been more of a presence in my school, curriculum, and daily life during my childhood and teen years. People think that being LGBTQ is something that happens because of indoctrination, but actually it is something that lives inside of a person and needs nurturing, love, affirmation, and acceptance. People who are forced into living a life that doesn't feel good or right to them are suffering, and they don't need to be. When a queer person can finally be who they are, it feels so incredibly freeing and just feels right.

The difficulties that LGBTQ people face is not because there is something wrong with them, but rather is because of the judgment, ostracization and violence that other people inflict upon them.

Young people are already gay or straight, cis or trans, or anything in between. They just might not know it or know how to put words to it yet. And just as there is nothing wrong with children reading about families with straight parents or interacting with straight people, it’s OK for them to know that some families have gay parents too (for example). Queer kids are much more likely to have positive outcomes when they can see themselves represented and affirmed in schools, and we all can learn what it means to be joyful and free from queer people who are true to themselves.

We are doing a huge disservice to all kids to try and hide the incredible LGBTQ community from them. Queer people are amazing, and have so much to offer our children in terms of their leadership, kindness, joy, and brilliant ways of thinking. People who have chosen to love and be themselves regardless of society's pressures are less likely to cause harm to others, so they are the people I want my own children to be around. I want my children to learn about all different types of people, and how to be proud of themselves exactly as they are, and to accept and celebrate people who are different from them.

These kinds of laws purposefully promote hate, fear, disgust and judgment of LGBTQ people. Dehumanization of a group of people is something we need to actively guard ourselves against, or we will find ourselves in an even more divisive and hate-filled world than we are already living in. I would beg people to open their minds up and realize that LGBTQ people are incredible, and are deserving of the same love, care, attention, affirmation, and basic human dignities and rights as anyone else. And that we are all missing out when LGBTQ people are mistreated.

Madison Atwood s an educator and a mom of two who lives in Cedar Rapids.