Older Iowans can still talk about politics with politeness and civility

I want to share a story told to me by my 95-year-old mother. It was about a discussion this week at her assisted living facility in Des Moines.

A new man was beginning to live there and this week he walked into the dining room and asked to sit at a table with my mom and her friends. Here was a table of both Republicans and Democrats. Many of them lived through World War II in their teenage years. The dining room experience is always full of discussions. My mom loves those talks!

One of the Republican women asked, “Sir, are you a Republican?” He replied yes. Then she asked, “Did you vote for Trump?” The reply was “Yes.” Then another woman said, “Can I ask you why?” The newcomer said, “Because he was a great businessman.” The table then dug into their opposing arguments! They discussed whether Trump did best with the funds from his father or through the money donated through all of his political paid gatherings.

There was humor. There was disagreement. There was respect.

I told my mom that I was so impressed by these aged women and men who have lived through so much history. How could they ask such direct questions and then have a civil discussion?

What seems to have happened in this country is that we “baby boomers” and our adult children are not able to do the same thing. We cannot share and talk about the hard questions without becoming heated. Why should we not talk about “politics and religion” as a chance to continue growing our perspectives? To first ask the question, then quietly listen and then comment. Are we so afraid of losing a “friend” that we have to just do small talk?

This country is so divided that we form our own side. We only react to just the books we read, the radio and TV channels we watch and what we hear at “our” church. Is this what America has become? Is this what we want for our grandchildren?

I have plenty of friends on both sides, and our talks are not as honest as those in the assisted living facilities! Do we have to be old before we are not afraid to ask a stranger about their views?

You may have an incorrect view of assisted living facilities. It is not just a quiet, reserved place to live the end of life. I am telling you, smile. They are full of men and women who have seen wars and so much life change and still continue to engage each other. I am so proud to hear how they jump into a bus every two years and go to the polls and VOTE!

They are not done examining our government and loving America. I miss the good discussions my family had as I grew up. We watched the same news together and talked. Nowadays, each person has their own device, in their own place of comfort and we miss the spontaneous discussions of how our history has changed us.

I admire that there are such wonderful bipartisan talks between our elders, now living together at the assisted living facilities!

Debbie Koopman lives in Cedar Rapids.