Hulk Hogan for Trump chief of staff

My pundit’s license should have been revoked before the Republican convention. I crashed in Milwaukee, wrong in virtually everything but its inevitable outcome. I expected a rancorous show of at least a few critical speeches and Trumpster delegates booing, maybe showing those who didn’t genuflected when Trump dropped to the podium from somewhere overhead.

I thought Nikki Halley would stand up in opposition to Donald Trump who she once upon a time criticized. She caved, young enough, I guess, to wait for another convention and probably after serving in a future Trump Cabinet if there is one. Mike Pence was silent, maybe absent. Trump didn’t need them. I didn’t know, as Mr. Trump did, that God had anointed him. Trump said he “appreciated God more” because He saved his life. I didn’t know God was on a good/better/best daily scale. I have never heard a truly religious person posit the idea.

I also thought the vice presidential choice might be a more conventional Republican, someone at least vaguely like Mike Pence or Halley. Instead, we got J.D. Vance, relatively new and an ideologue of the far, far, far right. He would ban all abortions. He thinks an abusive marriage is important to maintain “because of the kids.” Has he ever talked to one of those kids or their therapists or their survivors? He has the empathy of an onion., the charm of a gnat

The nominating crew was without much governing experience, but I was glad that his kids liked him. In addition to God and his kids, Trump had other important Republican support. Hulk Hogan, world wrestling champ, was there in wrestling outfit to endorse a presidential candidate, dramatically ripping his wrestling costume to expose a Trump T-shirt. A Trump son spoke favorably of his father, but ripped nothing

One report described the endorsing process, “Politicians are studied in the art of telling people what they want to hear. No modern politician has been better at this than Donald Trump. His principles are often negotiable, sometimes on a day-to-day basis. And he’ll often take multiple positions or adopt a hazy posture, allowing people of different stripes to believe his true position is the one they, too, hold.”

Kimberly Guilfoyle a lawyer and television talking head and soon to marry into the Trump family, said of the Democrats, "They want to destroy this country, and everything that we have fought for and hold dear. They want to steal your liberty, your freedom. They want to control what you see and think, and believe, so they can control how you live," Guilfoyle said in 2020. "Don’t let the Democrats and their socialist comrades” take over. She warned, “ This is our last chance to save America.”

I understand, as we all do, that they didn’t gather in Milwaukee to praise Joe Biden or any other Democrat. But I crashed expecting that partisan paranoia might be held in check. I’m a dope. Donald Trump gave the longest acceptance speech in history, 90 minutes generously described as meandering.

Norman Sherman of Coralville has worked extensively in politics, including as Vice President Hubert Humphrey’s press secretary.