Fighting against a society of ‘otherness’

I entered the classroom. I could see hate in her face. I apologized and indicated that Kirkwood Community College tried to contact everyone that I would not be in class last time because I attended my mother's funeral.

My school tries to let every student know when the professor will not be there and why. On this day several years ago, a few others were angry, save this one young lady. She was livid. 'I had to drive 18 miles for nothing.” I apologized again and said that it was my mother and she really did die.” She said, 'but what about me?”

I moved on with the lecture.

Within the last few years, as I was opening the door on our car, I accidentally knocked off an outside rear view mirror of another car. I left a note that it was me who did that and gave necessary ways to contact me. I got an email from him. It was as if I was a war hero, which I am not. 'Thank you! You are so honest.”

So here are two stories. It appears that we do not live in the best of times, nor the worst. What seems to be in current discussion is something called 'otherism.” Computer search engines find tons of articles. What does it mean?

To simplify, it is a low-grade, negative feeling about others and oneself. The biggest irritant is hate cleverly covered, insults, lies, phoniness, 'facts” that are partially true. It is all emotionally draining. President Barack Obama was born in Kenya and thus cannot be one of us. He is an 'other.” (That sounds true, but it is a lie.)

A better economy, some time without war, improved infrastructure might help, but I don't trust myself or others that I read about what would give the country a 'lift.” Times seemed to be better some time ago. 1955 was tops and the '50s and '60s may have been the high point.

Nostalgia about the past can be a big lie wrapped in candy. However, in a Harris Poll, the leaders of nearly every major organization in our country were ranked 30 percent to 35 percent lower in 2007 than in 1966.

We appear to be an 'other” to everyone else save a few. Our biggest foe is the electric and social media that sorts us. We feel as if we are a society of 'others.” Those smiling folks want us for something like our money or loyalty and use focus-group, time-tested words to seduce us.

However, something at the micro-level might help.

How about this? Go to a retail area in plain clothes, fold a $10 bill in your hand, put it in the hand of some stranger and keep moving. Those two folks I described above, the rude one and my surprised fellow, will probably act differently.

We won't conquer the blues and unite the country, nor is all 'otherness” wrong, because keeping your distance may save your life. Nor do you wait around for a utopia. They don't work.

Importantly, it is not the money you give someone, it is the memory. Keep doing it every few months. See what happens to you and your country. So, that means you. I know, I know. I want you to trust me.

l Joel Snell of Cedar Rapids is professor emeritus of social science at Kirkwood Community College. Comments: joelsnell@hotmail.com