Don’t be afraid to lay low during the holidays

The holiday season is painted as the ‘most wonderful time of the year,’ but for many, it’s a time filled with stress, anxiety and an overwhelming sense of obligation. As a therapist, I’ve witnessed the toll the holiday season can take on people, and it’s an issue I’m helping many of my clients work through right now. The one things people need to understand this time of year is that it’s OK to lay low this holiday season. You don’t have to participate in the hustle and bustle if it’s not serving you.

The holiday pressure often comes from external expectations: attending every event, finding the “perfect” gifts, and creating magical experiences for loved ones. Social media compounds this, bombarding us with images of curated holiday perfection. But what’s often missing from the conversation is the importance of self-care and tuning into what you truly need.

For some, the holidays can be a time of grief, as memories of lost loved ones resurface. For others, the financial strain of gift-giving or the sheer exhaustion of managing social obligations can be overwhelming. It’s no wonder so many of us feel drained by the time the new year rolls around.

If this resonates with you, I encourage you to embrace the idea that it’s OK to take a step back. Prioritize rest, solitude or intimate gatherings over large, obligatory events. Choose meaningful connections over superficial interactions, making time for the people who matter most in your life. Go lean when it comes to holiday spending so you aren’t faced with the burden of financial stress. Stick to your diet and healthy lifestyle, and avoid the temptation to indulge in all the holiday treats in abundance this time of year. Lay low when you need to, do what serves your best interest, and don’t feel the need to justify your decisions to anyone.

The holidays are a season, not a mandate. You don’t have to achieve a picture-perfect celebration to make this time of year meaningful. Sometimes, the most profound gift you can give yourself is permission to slow down, breathe and do what’s right for you.

If you’re struggling to balance expectations with your own well-being, consider seeking support from a mental health professional. Therapy can provide a space to explore what you need most and help you set boundaries that align with your values.

This holiday season, let’s normalize taking it easy and respecting our limits. Joy doesn’t have to come from elaborate plans or excessive commitments; it can be found in the quiet moments of peace and self-acceptance. After all, the best way to spread cheer is to start by caring for yourself.

Colette Fehr is a Licensed Marriage and Family therapist, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, author of the upcoming book ‘The Cost of Quiet,’ to be published next year by Penguin Random House,

and podcast host of “Insights from the Couch: Mental Health at Midlife.” https://www.colettejanefehr.com/