Updating my bucket list with a thing NOT to do - Play a 10-hour tennis match

Never play a tennis match in which the fifth set takes seven hours and six minutes and STILL ISN'T DONE.

I'd never heard of Nicolas Mahut and John Isner before Wednesday, and neither had you. But Wednesday they played a tennis match at Wimbledon that will be the source of books -- books that surely will take less time to read than their match is taking to play out.

Going into Thursday's resumption of the match (it was suspended Wednesday because of darkness), the fifth set is tied at 59 games to 59. That's not a misprint. Fifty-nine games apiece. The set alone has taken 7:06. The match has lasted exactly 10 hours.

Ten hours! That's enough time to drive from Cedar Rapids to Cleveland, or fly from Atlanta to Athens (Greece, not Georgia), or watch an entire season of "The Desperate Housewives of Orange County."

This could be the first time in the history of sport in which the world is fascinated by an event without knowing any of the participants. For once, the game really is the thing.

If it ends with a double fault, Hollywood will have to rewrite it when it comes time to make the movie about it.

Oh, the screenplay will also need some editing. Lots and lots of editing.

The next time someone says "Tennis, anyone," to you, say "I'd love to, but I need that time to learn a foreign language from scratch and then prepare a seven-course meal for a party of 25."

Wimbledon has had its weird moments in the past. See this "Monty Python's Flying Circus" sketch for proof, and fast forward to about the 3:45 mark.